My Lil' World of Tots..

expected

2010-06-11T20:15:00.001-07:00

I guess it's expected that some people are just quick to criticise with their paranoia, but sloooooooow to apologise. In fact, i reckon some do not even bother with their apologies! Anyway, to you," though i know u r not going to admit that you were paranoid, i know deep in your heart u know that you were mistakened. continue acting blur, because apologies accepted, that is, if u still have that little piece of conscience!"

I have so much fun with my buddies (though we are miles apart) laughing and sniggering alongside with me at this loser with the capital "L". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, i am just so gonna laugh all I want!!

After all this, i think that sometimes, it is not that difficult to read a person afterall. If you are not a bad person, u would not think of people in the same bad light. Therefore, how u interpret a person, is really a reflection of your ownself. Read youself hard ya? FYI, i dont really care what you think of me, because at this age, i dont play friendship games anymore. If we can get along, we are friends, otherwise, bye!

2010-06-08T04:12:00.000-07:00

maybe i was just being sensitive in my earlier blog entry. Some people are just naturally argumentative? Argumentative could well be a misnomer, but i dont know what other word i could use. After spending some time together with her for the past few days, I noted that it was just in her nature. She meant nothing much, just that she likes to debate excessively? She was really irritating at first, so much to the extent i have to make an overseas call back to SG just to rant. Now that i am used to it and after proving to her my point, she doesnt debate with me as much now. Phew, peace.

2010-05-21T04:37:00.000-07:00

what's the point of trying so hard to prove something unimportant when u end up looking silly? that's just so... silly. it doesnt matter if u win, because u end up looking like a monkey ultimately.
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what's the point of looking silly concealing your lies when the truth is already out? consumers have no lack of choices, and they will always stick to products/ service providers who are sincere and do not lie to cheat your money.
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period.

2010-05-03T03:26:00.000-07:00

I treasure trips back to KL with him. Every trip never fails to remind me to be contented with what I have. This trip is however, a more fulfiling one. :)

Anyway, will be off to Auckland in 2 weeks' time! Wonder how staying there is like. It's just so exciting!

2010-04-06T07:26:00.001-07:00

i was very upset with the lot that i got from the temple recently. My friend interpreted the lot for me again subsequently and told me more about that lot that i have obtained.. i was extremely skeptical of what she told me.. but today, 3 opportunties presented themselves to me today. suddenly i am spoilt for choice.. should i continue staying in my comfort zone or shall i take up a more challenging bank? hmmm.. in the meantime, looks like i'll be going away!

2010-04-05T07:06:00.000-07:00

one of my juniors recently commented that i am a person of extremes. how true is that.. i guess there's no room for gray colour in my world

sigh... time fr job search

2010-03-22T07:08:00.001-07:00

Hurray! Just got blacklisted by an online shopping blog. Who cares anyway? This simply means one less shopping avenue. I shall curb my shopping habits! My wardrobe are bursting at its seams and my rack cannot support the weight of all my dresses now. I got so many clothes I cant even remember what clothes I own anymore, till i come across it while looking for some piece of cloth that jotted my memory like a bolt of lightning. In fact, I cant even remember the purchases i made at my favourite topshop 2 weeks ago..

I NEED TO STOP SPENDING!

I shall be effective by concentrating on my circle of influence!

2010-03-13T06:24:00.001-08:00

feeling excited, because i think i might have just found the designer of my gown. I know it is him because his designs took my breath away, and it was just like how i told my friends, "u know it is right when your heart skips a beat." :)

2010-02-02T08:32:00.000-08:00

how lovely n wonderful it will be if the colour gray does not exist..

2009-10-03T08:27:00.000-07:00

There's alot of things that require my attention lately, and therefore, been doing quite a bit of thinking. This involves making a huge career switch, yet i dont have the courage or confidence to execute my plans.
Firstly, I think everybody in my team has a lot of things on their hands already. I'm not saying that I'm indispensable, but the morale of the team has been pretty low ever since 2 on the team resigned. On top of that, everyone in my unit seems to be throwing the letter every now and then. There are, on average, 2 colleagues tendering on a weekly basis. Last week was a high, with 3 people resigning one after another. It's an open secret that there's a head freeze now, all the seniors are worried that they might have to take up more shit than they can cope. In fact, some of the big jobs are now senior-less.
Secondly, my parents do not support the idea. However, i feel that the pay i'm earning now is really pathetic, considering the amount of time and energy and youth I put into my never-ending work. That's besides the stress-level I have to endure every day and night, especially on my leave! I really hate the lack of work-life balance.
I know alot of my friends and colleagues are bored with me saying that I want to quit, because it's all talk and no action. I hate myself for the lack of action too in fact. Well, let me get my CPA first at least.. ahhhh.. another reason to procrasinate.. DAMMIT

New perspective

2009-08-16T08:11:00.000-07:00

I am very excited and happy at where my life is leading me to. It has also provided me with a whole new perspective. It appears that I will definitely be leaving the audit industry within 1 to 2 years' time. It used to be just lip service, but the new dimension in my life has made me realised what i really want in life. =)

Was watching sex and the city earlier on and Samatha says, "Man gives while woman receives. This is the biological instinct." well, just something for all of us to ponder on

2009-07-30T09:38:00.000-07:00

A sense of euphorism overwhelms me as i typed this blog entry in the comfort of my bed. The aphorism "things happened for a reason" aptly explains the feelings running through my mind now. But i guess whatever happened during the wee hours last night was a wake up call that made me realised how fortunate i've been. I discovered how often i had taken things for granted n the kind of pressure i've exerted on people i love. Albeit the late realisation (considering now i can blame any mood swing of mine on quarter life crisis), i'm glad that the people i love r still around me. I will definitely revisit this entry constantly to ascertain that i will always remember the kind of happiness i'm experiencing now n that i must treasure whatever i have now. Anyway, to side track a bit, i think i might want to buy the miu miu bag that was beckoning to me when i was flipping through the magazine last week, since i got myself a very generous sponsor. However, with one of my goals in mind, i'm also contemplating to forgo this miu miu bag. Oh well, let me pay a visit to the boutique this weekend first. Pray that i dont like it.. Night!

2009-07-05T02:27:00.000-07:00

finally put my roller-blades to use for the second time yesterday at ECP. Felt my legs were breaking halfway through our destination, Bedok Jetty. Baby put me on this bike and rode back as far as he could to the nearest kiosk so that I could rent a bike too. Contrary to the scene we always see on TV, being a passenger on a damn bicycle is nothing romantic at all. The short trip left me with a bruised bum bum. I just couldnt stop laughing all the way to the kiosk and my laughing got so bad that we have to stop by the roadside for me to catch my breath and also to position my bum bum so that it wont hurt as much.

Also made a trip to Tiong Bahru market for the first time yesterday. I thought it was quite disappointing because i dont think the food was as fantastic as people claimed. I think the chwee kuah there is the only food that makes the trip to tiong bahru market worth it.

going back to work tomorrow again. surprisingly, no sense of dread this time round. It may sound idiotic but i rather be back at work. I feel that being out of office for these few days made me more stressful than when i was at work. i kept having this sense of anticipation that people will call me anytime regarding work. true enough, i have at least a few calls per day when i was away from the office. On thursday, i decided to leave my laptop home because i resolved to enjoy friday as much as i could. To my dismay, i received a call the minute i left office saying that i should be doing this n that already. damn.. tomorrow is also the first day i'll be working for a new manager. my gut feel tells me that this will be a tough year ahead.. sigh....

2009-07-01T10:02:00.000-07:00

cant get to sleep. Wanted to use the desktop in my living room to surf net but decided to save myself the hassle of turning on the computer n then waiting it for it to run. Therefore, decided to blog using my phone. The feel of blogging via a phone is totally different. It feels like typing a very long sms to someone. Not sure if i cant get to sleep because of the long nap i took this noon or because of the many thoughts that r currently thru my mind. Somehow my guess is the latter. Everytime i close my eyes, my mind starts to conjure up sms, conversations exchange n the emotions that might spew out of me when i see her. Never in my life have i been so disappointed with her. Never in my life will i think that we will still have such a big fight at our age. Never in my life will i imagine that we mean so little to her. Never in my life have i ever hated her as much as now. Everything that she does stems from her own pleasure. She does as n what she pleases, without any consideration to the people who care for her. I tried my. best to speak to her but i didnt know she doesnt care till akl slapped the fact on my face. Her silence has already meant that she was never on our side. I'm extremely disappointed in her. In fact, nothing can express how disappointed i am. Perhaps i should lie to myself that such person has never existed before n perhaps then all of us can be happier.

2009-06-16T02:44:00.000-07:00

The time now is 1744. I'm just so looking forward to tomorrow! Though I'm feeling excited now, I'm also worried that I wont be able to finish all my stuff on hand before I head to the airport.. 3 accounts on hand to be signed tomorrow.. Not sure if something will go wrong at the 11th hour.. What the hell.. be it signed or unsigned, I'll still go for my extremely well-deserved vacation and decide only when I come back. Realised that my committment towards my work is getting lesser and lesser. I think this is the first time that I'm on leave and i didnt even bother to bring my laptop home to check for any important emails. But then again, nobody is indispensable.

I'm not sure if my committment decreased because of the unfair grading that I've witnessed, or because I dont feel as much passion for audit anymore. The other day, the so-called star performer, who everyone feels that she does not warrAnt such good grading, called me on a sunday night from the office. I simply refused to pick up though the phone was ringing incessantly. I thought to myself, y should I be helping someone who got a better appraisal than me? she got a better appraisal than me, so she should know more than I do. Perhaps you might think that I'm just being a sore loser, or being pure sour grapes about the whole matter. But for someone who's always snatching the kind of credit others deserve, and back-stabbing your own subordinate is something that I dont feel that one should do to climb up the corporate ladder. Worse, her subordinate is someone who hates audit. He always tells us that he is still holding on because he feels bad to leave his senior to suffer alone. Little did he know that he's been back-stabbed by his favourite senior who wants to get a good appraisal. Anyway, she is someone who will carry out a lot of subtle actions to appear innocent and hardworking and as though she is very "shou wei qu". But having work together, the team knows very well whose credit she's been snatching from. Just to clarify, she didnt snatch any credit from me because thankfully, we dont have the chance to work closely together. I'm just feeling sad and sorry for my friend.

My lack of committment also proved to be for the better. I'm not so strong-headed about certain work issues anymore and my working style has become more laidback. This gives me more room to tolerate the different working styles and attitude my teammates have.
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Packed up my room today and I'm astonished to find more how much garbage I have. Came across photos, cards, notes that brought back such fond memories. I resolved to treasure the people around me more..

2009-06-12T17:42:00.001-07:00

Wah. it's been a long, long time since I last blogged. Decided to blog today because I woke up damn early today, considering that it's Saturday! Waking up early has got nothing to do with me wanting to blog. It's just that I'm not really a big fan of TV or surfing the net. I also have no interesting reads on hand, though I just bought a freaking expensive book of 2009's IFRS. I must be really work-crazy already. Oh well, since I'm "forced" to stay for another 2 - 3 years, what the heck. This book might just be handy.

Yesterday was my manager's last day at work. I never thought that her 2 months of notice will pass in a wink of an eye. While working with her has a lot of ups and downs, I really admire her for she is literally a walking IFRS. Everytime I posed a query to her, she will ask me, "have you checked FRS? She will turn to her right and flip her worn-down IFRS book and told me, "there, it's here, go read it." Though she is only 2 years older than me, the knowledge gap is simply too wide. Working under her was pressurising because she is always full of criticism. Nonetheless, she is someone very approachable. I'm not sure if we are alike in that sense. I must say she became a much relaxed person to work with after she tendered and somehow, we got along better. After she packed the last of her "remainings" in the office yesterday, she came up behind me and said, "come here". I thought i was in for another scolding. To my surprise, she gave me a very big hug and i really felt like tearing on the spot. Our one year of working together flashed through my mind and I realised that I'm sad that I wont be working for her anymore. In my farewell card written to her, I wrote that I'm just going to miss somebody breathing down my neck everyday. I'm greatful to all the knowledge she has imparted to me during this one year. Although 1 year is a short year, she has indeed made me a stronger person. I'm inspired by her in work aspects because she never bitches and she always take things in her stride. Big shoes to fill anyway... I know for sure I'm going to so miss her. The introduction of the new manager made things more difficult because the new manager does not like me and she has a bad reputation within my unit. I must say the kick-off meeting with her did not end up very well. *Shrugs* Que sera sera..

Should be on leave from next week onwards, but client's incompetence is totally a pain in the ass. She still dared to blame me for amending the consolidation workings and financial statements at the last minute. Peeved, i told her off in the face and told her," please note that it's always your responsibility to provide us with the consolidation working and financial statements. Auditors' responsibility is to review only." I'm extremely pissed because I did the whole consolidation for her and never once had she expressed gratitude. As I'll be going away, she had to work over the weekend and she was whining about it. But had she ever fucking thought about the many weekends I had to burn just to come up with the whole fucking consolidation by myself? With no knowledge in consolidation, I really have no idea how she even understand my workings. To top things off, this stupid company tend to have alot of insignifcant movement in their minority interest. I dont understand why would a company acquired shares from minority interests, only to dilute their shareholdings by issuing additional shares to minority interests? And these are consolidation stuff that was never taught before in school. I had to self-study alot of times and not much people in the firm could guide me because few people came across such situations in their consolidation. Damn these clients to hell. Superbly infuriatuated, when i was clearing review points with my partner yesterday, i told her about how the client pushed the consolidation to me, and how they always want me to change the financial statements because of fucking rounding error. I requested my partner to speak to the client on these matters during the kick-off meeting this year, which she agreed because all these are client's responsibilities in the first place. Looking back, I think that i was damn brave. haha.

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One of my closest friends got engaged recently and I'm really excited for her! Happy and glad that she found a guy who can finally support her and dote on her. People in my office are getting engaged one by one. I think in certain ways, there's some peer pressure to jump onto the bandwagon too. But this is something that should never be rushed as this is a lifelong committment that you are getting yourself into. My mum always tells me that I'll be the last to get married among all my friends.. How true is that?

Will be going to KL next Wednesday! So looking forward to enjoying my stay there. For some reason, I always feel very relaxed in KL. Maybe that's because I know I cant work and everything will be arranged for me, in terms of accomodation and entertainment. Everytime when I'm there, i can sleep till I cant sleep and enjoy all kinds of good food. I truly feel that food in Singapore cant be compared to the food I tasted in KL. Shawn became a uncle again recently and I'm so looking forward to playing with his new cutie niece. I've looked at all the pictures that he has taken of her and I feel that she is just so heart-melting! Here's a picture of Shawn's nieces and nephew

2009-02-28T18:58:00.000-08:00

i've finally stopped procrastinating! This is going to wipe out all my savings but i dont care. To me, it's investment. But then again, if i cant commit myself to it, all my hard-earned money will go down the drain..

On a separate note, i want to buy wii!! Glad that somebody has decided to invest in this fat-losing gadget on my behalf instead.. hehehe

2009-02-20T20:15:00.001-08:00

"ignorance is bliss"

How true is that.

2009-02-14T23:25:00.000-08:00

All i want is for the room to stop spinning! I hate this feeling of feeling of being handicapped and restrained! I cant seem to do what i want anymore!

I agreed that i should not put my health at risk. but i just cannot stop myself. I just cant leave my work undone and go home and just throw my work to my juniors. it's not fair to them.

ARGH!

2009-01-18T20:13:00.000-08:00

One year plus back, i reached a crossroad. Funnily, one year plus later, I reached the same crossroad again. I thought the path that I decided to take one year plus back would determine my destiny. Surprisingly, I found myself back at square one. Just what the heck had i done during this one year plus?

I attended one of my JC friend's wedding yesterday. As i saw her walk in together with her husband, hand in hand, i thought i came to a decision already. as the night passes, the decision became blurrer with every ticking second.

Today I logged on to FB and saw the romantic pictures my friend took with her bf, where he later proposed. The first image that came to my mind also faded as time passes.

I hate this feeling where I cant be fair to everyone.

I just hope everybody will give me time.

2008-06-16T20:25:00.000-07:00

Been feeling kind of emotional lately. I dont know if it's the workload or other matters that have made me break down on several occasions. I merely wanted to complain to my mum about work, but i ended up pouring my eyes out in front of my parents yesterday. I think this outburst made them hate my job more. They always think that the working hours are too long and that the pay is bad. They keep advising me to look for another job yesterday and I think it's time I should because I really have no iea how long more i can take this kind of shit anymore.

It made me realise then how easy it is to make people leave yet heard to make people stay. I guess the above-mentioned applies to any context.

Visited some of my friends' blogs lately and happy to know thay they are doing well, in terms of relationship, work and health. It makes me ponder why i dont have the same.

Breathless by Shayne Ward

2008-01-18T20:34:00.000-08:00

Breathless by Shayne Ward

If our love was a fairy tale
I would charge in and rescue you
On a yacht baby we would sail
To an island where we’d say I do

And if we had babies they would look like you
It’d be so beautiful if that came true
You don’t even know how very special you are

Chorus

You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me
Breathless

And if our love was a story book
We would meet on the very first page
The last chapter would be about
How I’m thankful for the life we’ve made

And if we had babies they would have your eyes
I would fall deeper watching you give life
You don’t even know how very special you are

You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me

You must have been sent from heaven to earth to change me
You’re like an angel
The thing that I feel is stronger than love believe me
You’re something special
I only hope that I’ll one day deserve what you’ve given me
But all I can do is try
Every day of my life

You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me
Breathless

You leave me breathless
You’re everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can’t believe that you’re mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you’re leaving me
Breathless
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This song is very menaingful to me. Reading the lyrics and watching the MTV brought back alot of sweet memories to me. It sets me wondering if what I received via emails and smses were extracted from this song itself. *laughter*

2008-01-04T22:28:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I've been to Bugis to pray. I guess I only go there when I need some kind of assurance in my life. Currently, I feel that I'm no longer in control of my health, my love life etc. I've never felt so helpless before. I feel extremely handicapped. I feel lost..

The coming weeks are going to be a testing period for me. I dont know if I'm able to pass with flying colours or fail miserably. That doesnt matter though, because I know what the outcome is going to be. I tell myself I have to be strong. I learned yesterday that faith does not come from within one self, faith needs to be nurtured from others' belief as well..

I'm going to pray today for courage and strength. I'm going to pray for pride.I'm going to pray that everything will turn out to be ok. I'm just going to pray for myself. If I can, I'll pray that whatever is happening now is just a nightmare and that I'll wake up from it soon.

2007-12-22T21:55:00.000-08:00

if there's one thing that i learned from the recent months, it would be that time should never be an essence of consideration when making decisions.

Time, however, will heal all wounds.

Time, however, will reveal if one's decision is correct.

Time, however, will allow you to move on again.

I dont know if the decision i've made will turn out to be fruitful or regretful one in the future.

All i know is the decision I've made is a fair one.

All I know is I'm happy presently.

All I know is I want you to be happy too.

Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis

2007-11-09T20:39:00.000-08:00

This song is currently U.K.'s #1. Go listen to it. It's fucking good!

Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted* to the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing’s greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

2007-09-08T08:14:00.000-07:00

My new maid ran away. Yes, she did and that's simply so damn irritating! I guess she cant handle the load of washing she has to do daily. That cant be helped since there are 4 working adults and 2 students at home. All of us have to change our clothings everyday! Anyway, it made me realise that I feel so, so freaking handicapped without a maid at home! I have to make my own bed, wash my own cups and water bottle, wash my own clothes, keep my own clothes, keep the papers, tidy up my cupboard and study table! Thank goodness my parents will be looking for a new one come Monday. *phew* Play MJ with Tianming, PQ and Mr Tan, and I had to wash the dishes after that! URGH! Totally hate that feeling. I know the chores mentioned above are easy chores and I can say with confidence besides the washing of clothes, I can handle the rest with ease. BUT, I could use the time doing those damn chores on other things instead! Let Monday come soon!!

2007-09-02T08:06:00.000-07:00

I cant emphasise the importance of Nerdy Bob in my life. It's been less than an hour since he's gone home and I'm already missing his mouldy moles like crazy.. Been coughing like mad lately, it's a wonder that I have not coughed up blood yet. I know Nerdy Bob cares because he will look at me when I start to cough uncontrollably. I know from his eyes that he cares and wishes that there's something he could do to make me feel better. Though he does not voice out his concern, my heart melts nevertheless. I guess after being together for so long, we know each other inside out such that we no longer have to express ourselves vocally at times. Sometimes, silence does speak volumes.

Anyway, here's just a big shoutout to Nerdy Bob, "I LOVE YOU!"

2007-08-31T09:42:00.000-07:00

After the last blog, something happened and I learned why people feel sad at funeral. I dont know about you guys, but I guess it's that sense of helplessness of having to lose someone whom you love dearly. Would like to elaborate more on this, but somehow words have evaded my mind after a day of work.

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I dont know if you guys know this about me - I dream alot. Nope, not in the sense of building sandcastles in the air, but as in dreams that come to me while I was sleeping. Anyway mst of my dreams are extremely powerful and provoking. Most of my dreams never fail to evoke emotions out of me. There was this period of time when I kept dreaming of people dying. Not just strangers, but family members and friends. These are the kind of dreams I hate to have, because I always find myself crying badly when I woke up. Not only do I start crying uncontrollably, I also find myself trying to deal with the fear of losing the people around me. These dreams made me quite distressed and I decided to tell my mum about it. She has since placed an amulet above my bed and removed most of my soft toys.

Recently, the dreams I have are about things that I know are going to happen. For example, my maid who has been working for my fmaily for 7 to 8 years is finally going back to her homeland to get married. Initially, I thought I would feel nothing about her going back. However, that night, i dreamed that the next day is the day when she's finally going back for good. When I woke up, I was actually feeling kind of sad. As such, I realised that I'm going to miss her badly when she's gone! Therefore, I made a resolution to send her to the airport on Sunday morning regardless of how early her flight is and no matter how tired I feel when I wake up on an early Sunday morning.

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Been feeling under the weather for quite some time already. My flu/cold/fever attacks me on a fortnighly basis. Essentially, what I mean is after 2 weeks of recovery, I will fall sick again. After 3 visits to the doctor within 1 month, my doctor on my 3rd visit suggested that perhaps I should do a blood test to determine why I've been falling sick so often. It could be due to my blood count and stuff. So 2 days back when I fell sick, I decided to head to the nearest office clinic near my client's place and take a day off. I have also decided to do a blood-test and thus, I informed the doctor about it. That was after I've told her that I've been falling sick frequently for the past few months. To sum the whole episode briefly, I left the clinic feeling pissed. This was because not only did I fail to do a blood-test, I failed to take a day rest to recover. Below is a highlight of the interesting conversation between me n the doc:-

Doc: hmmm.. I can only deduce 2 main reasons to why you are falling sick so often.

Me: Ok, ya?

Doc: One, you are damn suay. Two, you are damn weak.

Me: ............ (speechless)

I swear these are the exact words she used on me! Following is another highlight:-

Doc: So do u need an MC? Personally, if you asked me, I dont think you are that weak to get an MC. But considering your line of profession, I know you guys feel tired. So if you want me to write you an MC i can do so.

Me: You are the doctor, you decide if I need an MC then.

Doc: Ya, like i said, i dont think you are that weak to get an MC, but if you to rest, I can write you one to cover you for the day.

Me: Fine, then I do not need an MC then.

It's like wtf la! Isnt she like suggesting that I want to chao keng?! TMD! I decided not to get an MC despite feeling feverish because she emphasized many times to me that feeling feverish does not mean I have a fever. A fever is only when your body temperature is above 37.5 degree celscius. In the end, her diagnosis was I have an allergy which I'm so totally not convinced! It's my own body, how can I not know? So she gave me this nasal spray which is meant for sinus and this medicine for me to clear my lungs. Under the advice of my colleague I deicded to give her the benefit of doubt. However, not only do I not feel any better after taking the medicine, my hands began to tremble. I have since stopped taking the medicine and shall be seeking a second opinion come tomorrow morning! Just so damn pissed! urgh!

2007-08-26T07:11:00.001-07:00

I guess it's PMS period currently. I get super irritated by the most trivial matters, like the way someone talks, the things that people say and do. It's frustrating! URGH! It's just like how u spend effort in trying to catch up with a friend online on MSN and you were the one shooting questions away while that unappreciative person could only manage curt replies. Irritated by the lukewarm responses, I decided to adopt a heck-care attitude in replying that's person's np-need-to-reply replies. Anyway, that person got offline and in that person's personal message was something mean, though I'm not sure if that person could be referring to me. Perhaps, similarly, the person could just be suffering from PMS as well.

Went to St James yesterday and managed to find my lost VIP card! YIPEE! While I was there last night, I saw this female despo who was dancing "seductively" to hook some loner/losers who is willing to be her one night stand buddy. It turns me off to see a woman behaving in such a demeaning manner. I personally think that a woman's self-worth is determined by how much she loves herself. As such, I'm quite against one night stands to a very large extent. Should someone decides to have a ONS, at least QC first ya?
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Time flies. I cant believe that my uncle has passed away for a week already. Since his demise, the mood at home has been relatively solemn. However, I'm glad that my parents are feeling much better now. It's extremely heart-wrenching at the last day of his funeral, seeing the way my mum cried. It was also the first time I've seen my dad teared. It made me sad for quite a while.

At the last day of his funeral, alot of people cried. While I must admit that I was not close to this uncle, I cried as well. I'm not sure if I cried because of the way that my mum was crying or because i feel sad that I may never see my uncle again and call him "ah peh" ever again. It's always at funeral that you tell yourself that you must learn to treasure the people around you, so that one day should that person leaves the world suddenly, you can tell yourself without any regrets that you have at least treated that person well. Disappointingly, this is purely a fleeting thought. Let's be honest here, how many a times have we tell ourselves that we must treasure the people around us, yet we find it such an uphill task. Here's an example: how many a times have you resolved to be nice to your parents and yet when they start to nag incessantly, you cant help but yell back at them to stop the nagging? Another example: how many a times have you decided to be sweeter and nicer to your bf/gf/friends and yet when they did something to piss you off (be it intentional or unintentional), you cant contain your anger and scolded them? Guess you guys get the drift ya? As such, here's a big shoutout to people whom I used to deem as enemies, "YOU ARE FORGIVEN!!" For people who are not sure if I considered you foe or friend, you can heave that very much deserved sigh of relief now!!
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To Nerdy Bob: After all the ups and downs, I'm positive about the direction of our relationship and I want to tell you what I love you! very very much! muach!!

family treat

2007-08-14T19:10:00.000-07:00

Going to blog today because I'm on MC and there's nothing better to do, since I didnt bring back any work to do. Treated my family to lunch with my bonus at peony-jade restaurant. The food there is good and the whole damage to my wallet was $400+, but it was all worth it. When I paid for the treat with my own money, the feeling was indescriptable. Bought darling a nice watch too. :) :) :) I guess it all made up for all the last time when I didnt buy any birthday presents for him, yet he was always burning a hole in his pocket when he buys me present for my birthday.

Anyway, kind of lazy to blog, thus, decide to post some pictures of the treat instead of going on and on.. will post more pictures of me n my colleagues when I can blog using my office laptop..

Mum and my little sis. That's sharks' fins in the queer looking cup..

Softshell crab! It's definitely the best soft-shell crab I've eaten and totally so unlike those cheapo you eat in those Japanese restaurants..

This is fish.. forgot what fish.. The first taste was great, but the subsequent bites taste so-so only..

Didnt really take alot of pictures because we were damn hungry when we reached the restaurant. Besides these dishes, there was peking duck, noodles, cold dish etc.. The picture on top was our dessert.. Yummy yummy..

My handsome brother..

Finally, the time to pay. Bought this wallet using my bonus.. Decided to wait till a while before buying my bag.. Anyway, below are some random pictures that I digged up while looking through my pictures..

I treated dear to dinner at hogs breath at Chijmes to celebrate his good results.. The beef there is supposed to be good.. but I guess neither me nor dear could really appreciate it.. hahaha

Me posing with dear's drink..

Darling with his drink..

The beef that received many thumbs up review..

And finally, dear posing with the book he bought at Kinokuniya..

This picture was taken ages ago man.. Think when I was still schooling in NTU.. hahaha..

Guess that's all for this entry man.. nothing really informative.. hopefully the pictures suffice though..

Best 23rd birthday present

2007-07-21T20:17:00.000-07:00

Went hunting for the big, big tote bag that I've wanted the other day. Saw one that costs S$1,320. That is my ultimate dream bag, for now!! I just have a thing with big, big bag. However, the thought of having to part with some of my bonus is quite a heartache. Luckily, my birthday is round the corner, and so, I muster my courage to ask my mum to sponsor part of the cost. Before approaching her, I knew that this is going to be a tough battle. As such, I decided to just casually asked her about it, if she's going to reject me then so be it. What's most important is I tried. haha.. Anyway, shortly after I asked her, she came into my room with a red packet. Upon seeing that, my sisters and I started to think that she's just so duh, because the packet was v thin, and we were like thinking that she definitely must have put just a $10 bill inside. For your information, my mother can be extremely lame. She loves pulling jokes on us and they never fail to make my siblings and I roll our eyeballs. Thinking that this time was no exception, we started telling her how lame she is and stuff. And with a smile, she left my room. To my surprise, inside the red packet was actually a S$1,000 bill!! Hehehe.. I can buy my bag without any relunctance anymore!! Hey, this amount of windfall came at a appropriate time ya, because I lost my LV card holder at Zouk the other night. Just the cost of the LV card holder lost plus the cost of replacing my cards sum up to quite alot already.. Now I just have enough to shop for a new wallet.. Had my eyes on this Fendi wallet, and I had my eyes placed on dear's wallet as well.. for sponsoring part of my new wallet cost.. right dear? hahahaha.. It's always better to buy someone a present she loves than to buy something you dont know if a person will like ya?

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Anyway, I bought the mambo jumbo CD. It's a compilation of popular songs by Zouk u hear every wednesday nights.. The CD is superb!! Go buy it if you guys love mambo!!

torn

2007-07-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

I went shopping alone after work yesterday, reason being I just dont want to be home so early. I used to hate to shop alone, because I feel like people in the stores kept looking at you when you shopped alone, as though you are some kind of loner with no friends. Also, you have no one to seek opinion from when you are torn between 2 dresses and you budget only allows for one. So anyway, my resolution not to go home early manage overwhelm my self-consciousness and off I went to town for some shopping alone. Maybe because I wasnt really in a good mood to begin with, so for the very first time, people's views of me do not matter much to me. After shopping for a while, I kind of like the freedom of shopping alone. You can choose to enter and leave any store as you wish to. You can spend freely without feeling bad for you wont have friends beside you telling you how broke they are for the month etc. You also do not have to wait for your friends to take their time in the dressing room, nor do you have to take into consideration your shopping khaki's energy level. All in all, I admit that shopping alone is indeed a fun experience. I guess I'll have to do that often now.

Sometimes I wish humans are able to crave their feelings onto a stone. That way, you do not have to worry about any kind of change of feelings. Just take the stone out and look at it and that old feeling will flow into you, like it has never left you before. While change of feelings may not be necessary bad, but isnt it better if you can store that feelings somewhere and eliminate any chances of that feelings evolving into something that you have never wanted it to be in the first place? Just like how the bestest of friends can become enemies overnight, or how old couples, after staying together for decades, can gradually turn against each other due to irreconcilable differences? Afterall, prevention is still better than cure.

I've always hated changes, because I fear uncertainty. But I realised finally that being stagnant at any point in life or relationship is not a good thing. Hopefully, things will turn out to be great once again. I want more. However, I do not know if my demand for more is going to cost me my happiness. At the same time, I'm aware that if the same old problem is never going to be resolved, it's still better to let things go. Because the same problem will still come back and haunt you eventually.

I'm so, so tired. No sure if I'm making any sense either. Night.

2007-07-03T07:38:00.000-07:00

My manager just got promoted to partner! Feel extremely happy for her. She has really got what it takes to bring her to where she is today. She shared the news with us over conference call and I reminded her to install water-heater lest she has a bathroom in her room. That so because she was joking with me the other day that I could camp in office if I find travelling so troublesome and I was whining to her that our shower doesnt have hot water!

I always wanted to be a housewife whenever the tough gets going. Somehow my manager's promotion has become a source of motivation for me. Before anyone gets mistaken that i aspire to be a partner, what I mean is, a successful woman should be able to balance between work and family. I think that it's definitely not an easy task, given the long working hours. Even during my first year as an audit associate, I hardly have time for anything else besides work, what more a family in the few years to come. However, right now, my focus would be to build on my career and hopefully the plan that I have up my sleeve is going to work out great.

2007-07-01T06:57:00.001-07:00

Been real happy! Everything has been going smoothly for me ever since I started work. Nonetheless, where there's up, there's bound to be downs. Hehe.. I know there's a mountain high worth of work awaiting for me the moment I return to the "city that never sleeps".

First week of work has been relatively slack, playing assistant cum secretary to my assistant manager-going-to-be-manager come July who proves to be a real funny-ball. He makes me laugh with the things that he said. He's so nice that I feel that I'm the one who's been bullying him. :X Anyway, been shopping after work lately and the it feels good man! I like the feeling of spending on something without having to worry about anything. Blew quite a sum of money at Forever 21 and Topshop. Both are my favourite shopping haunts! AND, the real exciting thing is, I spent enough on Topshop that day for me to become their member! I totally love, love, love clothes from there! Membership at Forever 21 would be perfect though. So guys, next time if you want to shop at Topshop, u can come to me for the discount card! I got the membership just in time for me to enjoy a 20% discount for my birthday month too!! Yeah~

Ever since the good piece of news at work on Friday, I'm really very thankful for everything that's happening around me. I guess the piece of good news have indeed come at an appropriate time. It has snapped me out of my sian-ness the day I started work after 2 months of leave. Suddenly, I cant wait to get going again. Sometimes, I feel that I'm a bit perverted, but honestly, I kind of like the rush of adrelina when I have to meet a deadline or bump into a challenge. It makes me feel that I work for a purpose. Perhaps, that's some kind of self-satisfaction that I derived from my work. This makes me recall what my manager told me the other day ,"Humans are amzing creatures. No matter how something always seem impossible at some point in time, we somehow always manage to find a way out to resolve it." How true.

Congrats to my sister for achieving her first class honours. Though I know she's earning much more than me when I first started out, I feel proud of her. Happy too because there's someone to share all the birthday treats for my parents finally. hahaha..

Oh, the GST credits are in! Just in time to provide me with some float for my extravagant spending this month. Went shopping with dearie yesterday and I practically bought something from every shop that I went into. The worst thing is I dont feel like I've shopped enough!!

Elated

2007-06-29T08:06:00.001-07:00

Happy! Received my promotion letter today. Was totally caught unaware of the good news that were awaiting me in that piece of white envelope. Well, the pay revision was kind of expected since some of my colleagues from the other unit already told us about the new pay. It was the bonus that gave me the nice surprise. Anyway, I'm genuinely greatful that my hard work has been recognised and the reward has actually crystalized into that extra bonus I had received more in comparison to my peer-mates.. I'll definitely work harder from now on!

Yeah! Shall go look for a damn big tote to buy...

Birthday is coming soon.. Thanks darling for your suggestion to buy me that piece of "girl's best friend".. I love you!

Turning 23

2007-06-24T02:36:00.000-07:00

Going to be 23 in approximately a month's time. Is 23 considered old or still young? Is 23 too late to start all over again? Honestly, I have no answer.

I realised that after being with someone for a while, you will always remember that person as who he was when you first get to know him. And often, those memories are sweet. But as time passes, as the environment changes, as your social circle changes, as your thinking changes, as even the climate changes, people change too. With changes, you yearned for the familarity, the stability to keep you secure. You choose to believe everything has always been the same and that nothing has changed, as such, you choose to remember (selectively!) what you wanted everything to be initially, totally oblivious to changes. Deep inside, you still believe, or rather, you want to believe that everything is still the same. However, after some time, you know it's not. Yet you find it hard to let go because you can still recall vividly the sweetness of how everything started. I have wanted everything to remain constant, but I guess I no longer have my call. I have to face it. It's over.

The 4 most important ladies in my life

2007-06-23T19:48:00.001-07:00

After yesterday, I realised that besides kinship, friendship is undoubtedly one of the most important possessions in life. So today, I shall present 4 extremely beautiful women who have made a significant impact in my life. The 4 who have constantly hold my hands through thick and thin, the 4 who I can share everything with, the 4 who have lent me their shoulders in trying times, the 4 who have shared all of my joy, the 4 who i'll do anything for..

Ladies, while I recognised that these pictures may not be the most flattering picture, but please at least credit me for browsing through all my picture folders painstakingly and uploaded the nicest picture (really!) I have of you guys.. Oh yes, these pictures are definitely not uploaded in any kind of order, so please no cat-fight ladies.. All of you are treasures to me..

First up. my kai xin guo - Ng LiLi. It was totally unexpected that we are such dear friends to each other today. Though I have known her since JC, she was never a friend what I was ever close to. But fate always has a plan of its own.. somehow along the way, we've grown close and I know she's someone who will always pei ban me.. Be it Mambo Nights, ECP, badminton sessions, MJ sessions, chit-chat sessions..
Second up, my foe-turned-friend, Ang Kailing. It's amazing that we knew each other since P3 and we only got to know each other more in JC. We entered the same secondary school and yet the only word I can think of when I see her then was the word "bitch". I even wrote it down in my diary! I told her the other day and she wasnt impressed or proud about the title i have bestowed upon her in secondary school. Nevertheless, she has always been there for me when all my relationships failed. She's the one I know I can rely on for piece of good advice..

Third up, my ever so sweet friend, Koh Xinyu!! The one who is always there whenever I need to exercise some form of verbal vomit. The one whom I always complain to and whine to, and yes, she will always be there!! It's funny to think that I dont even know her personally then. But somehow, we became friends and gradually, she has become an indispensable part of me in my life now.. The one friend who always understand where I'm coming from.. The one friend I feel that completely understands me! Maybe because we are both Leos and we think alike?! hehehe... (Xinyu, I've put your description in green because I know how much you love green.. hahaha)

Finally, my best friend for the longest period of time, Suzan Peh Hui Ting! We belonged to the same clinque since Sec 1. I must admit that our friendship hasnt always been a bed of roses, but I believe that's what made our friendship stronger than before. Though now we are both working and kind of hard to meet up, I really appreciate all the efforts she made to keep our friendship going, be it via office emails or late dinners. She's the friend who always tries to think in your shoes, and frank about what she thinks..

Now that I come to think of it, I think I'm truly blessed to have these 4 wonderful women in my life.. and I will never ever want to see a day where we became strangers or hi-bye friends.. Cheers to our friendship!

2007-06-19T00:53:00.000-07:00

My Chemical Romance - I Don't Love You

Well, when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

And after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Well come on, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

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Happy Father's Day! My sister bought the cake from Secret Recipe. Think the flavour is cappucino cheese.. double thumbs up for tis yumminess!

And! And! I finally got my driving licence!!!!!! *Horray!!*

Adventure at ECP

2007-05-31T23:52:00.000-07:00

These past few weeks of leave have been making me extremely lerthegic. Besides watching TV, my favourite past-time to while time away are sleeping and eating. Thus, under the cajoling of LiLi, I decided to head to ECP with her for some cycling activity. Actually I dont need much cajoling from Lili since I've thinking of going to ECP as well and also, I love ECP! I simply love to feel the wind against my face, the feel of the sun on my skin and the feel of happiness when I see people enjoying themselves. It's during moments like this when I realise that simplicity can also be one of life's "luxury". :)

Anyway, the Bedok Jetty is definitely not a place to be missed when you are at ECP. It always facinate me to see the number of passionate people fishing there despite the scorching hot sun. While resting at the jetty, I came across this school of fishes that were hiding under the shade. There were a few people lining their baits to hook these fishes. While I do not recognise these fishes to be edible, I really wonder why on earth would these people want to bait these fishes. I remembered someone telling me that once you released the fishes from the hook, they will still gradually die. I think fishing is kind of a cruel past-time. Imagine the pain the fishes have to suffer before they die a long and painful death.

Here are some radom shots anyway..
Lili and my sister taking a break after an hour of cycling and lili blading..

While taking a break, we came across this sandcastle.. Beautiful right?this snadcastle was built by the people who owes the castle below..

Me and Lili taking a shot in front of the sandcastle.. I bought the pair of shorts when I was still in secondary school.. To think i can still fit into them now.. hahaha

Yupz, this is the castle that i was talking about earlier on.. curious to find out which organisation actually builds sandcastle? scroll down to find out more..

Ta-deh!! If I'm not mistaken, this organisation is named Castle Beach and they have build numerous sandcastles..

In light of the recent spate of drowing cases in Singapore. I have taken down these 2 pictures to help create awareness about what they can do to help people in trouble..

2007-04-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

If not for the mandatory encryption of my notebook, I dont think I'll come across these pictures which are long forgotten! While I understand these are long overdue, it's still better to be late than never ya? At least I bother to spend some time on blogging instead of working! So here you are..

First of all, introducing my second home during the peak.. Here are some shots that my senior took randomly while we were working over the weekend.. As you can see, the table is damn messy and while you cant see it here, the ohter side of the table is filled with food, and it's literally a pigsty while we were burning the midnight oil..

Up next, introducing the players.. First up, my only senior on the team currently.. Late hours can really turn people into people they are not. Dont believe me? Scroll down for evidence..

The usually chirpy Eric has turned into a android, totally oblivious to the surroundings.. Still do not believe the effects of working late into the night? scroll down then..

Ta-dah! Me.. the ghost-looking like me.. Hey, I didnt pose for this picture k? I was just minding my own shit when my senior called me and he took this shot just when I was looking up from my shit.. This picture is really horrendous..

Anyway, enough of working.. This picture was taken at our christmas party last year at MOS.. Nope, we were not acting cute with those head accessories.. Instead, we were made to wear them to gain entry into MOS..

Next up, a farewell getaway for my senior who is leaving us for greener pasture.. Rosie, xuen and me. Lunch was at Dian Xiao Er at vivocity. The food was not bad..

After lunch, we headed to Sentosa for some go-kart action.. Before that, we have to brave the danger of boarding the cable cars..

Finally at the go-kart, all geared up for our challenge. The ride was fun, but the distance a tad too short. We wanted to pool some money for the fastest rider. But the journey was too short and there were too many people along the journey, making it almost impossible to race one another..

At the end of the ride, we took this ride back to our starting point for another round of go-karting action.. I was so damn scared that my sandals would drop la..

After the ride, we went for some sightseeing.. because we were reluctant to part with our money to enter the merlion, guess this is the best we could do.. hehe..

Resting.. before heading back to Vivocity.. Oh ya, the second person from my left is my Citibank Manager. She looks young right? Her complexion is flawless too. I ever asked her how she maintains and she told me to take more spicy food. The most unfair thing is, she doesnt even spend effort to maintain her complexion! *UNFAIR!*

Finally, we headed back to Vivo for our yummy tea break..

2007-04-06T21:53:00.000-07:00

I thought the long hours that I've experienced earlier during the year was what my colleagues deemed as "peak", not until recently. "Peak" (at least from whaT i've gone through), means reaching home at 6am in the morning and reaching the office at 9am the very next day. On top of that, it means working on weekend, from 2pm to 6am as well. I rarely see my family members anymore. When I'm home, they are already fast asleep. When I'm up, they have either gone to school or sttill are sleeping. Things got so bad that my lil sis even have to write me a journal to keep me updated about her life. So unless you people went through the same hellish working hours as i did, do not complain to me about your "long" working hours. Do not even complain about your boring social life because social life do NOT exist in an auditor's life.

At the same time, I saw how fast people come and go in my line. Just Thursday itself, i saw 2 of my colleagues leave. Come Monday, my senior would be leaving for greener pasture. It's kind of depressing, but I guess that's just part and parcel of the audit line.

During this peak, I've grown up quite a fair bit. Happy that I survived the peak, but stressed at the thought of having to undergo through it again. Looking back at the times we spent at the client's place, how we encourage one another to persevere, how we coax outselves with food indeed brings back wonderful memories. Team members do form an imperative element in this line, as I've lamented countless times. Nonetheless, with the advent of July, I know I have to bruce myself with the potential prospect that some of my team-mates would be leaving eventually. *SHRUGS*
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Will be on leave for 2 months come May. Going to Taiwan in May. So looking forward to it! *screams*

2007-03-10T18:26:00.000-08:00

Fate works in such funny and incomprehensive ways. Just the other day while I was going out for lunch, I saw my senior coming out from a job interview from my client's. I said fate works in such funny ways because I have wanted to go down to lunch straight, but for no particular reason, I felt like visiting the loo. My senior, on the other hand, was telling me she could have left the interviewer's place earlier, but the interviewer held her back at the last minute. All these leading us to bump into each other at the lift - so coincidentally.

Anyway, she hitched the interview and she's leaving. I've always say I want to leave the audit line after 2-3 years of experience. However, placing myself in my senior's shoes made me realised how great an inertia it takes to leave this place - the place where i've made many good friends, shed many tears, laugh aplenty. The place where i have to come in early so as to find a seat, where i've downed too a many kinder burneo, where i have difficulties finding a printer in good-working condition, where the toilet floods everytime I feel like shitting. Perhaps I'm too much into my comfort zone, I dont feel like going anywhere else. It's at this point I learnt that money is only secondary. It's the people there who makes up the primary element of attaining happiness in your job. No doubt the job sucks, but people there makes you feel that you are not alone and that your job is not that shitty afterall.

Maybe the people i've grown close to starts to leave the firm one by one, I'll comtemplate leaving as well.

Speaking of the inertia to leave the firm, I really applaud people who choose to pursue an entirely different line. I'm not talking of people who joined banks, people who joined MAS, people who decided to become product controller or people who choose to do compliance. But people who left to join the sales line. Personally, I believe meeting the deadline is so much more easier than hitting the sales quota.

Appraisal time is round the corner. While I hope to be among the higher band, I know this is near to impossible after reading the appraisal template. Additionally, my senior manager will be doing my appraisal instead of my senior. This adds on more pressure for me to put on my best behavior for these few weeks to come. Speaking of which, i'm always on my best behavior anyway. hahaha..

2007-02-03T07:35:00.000-08:00

Been working long hours for the past few weeks! The norm is to reach home at around 2+ in the morning and reach office the next day at 9am. My complexion, or rather, my well-being, has depreciated at an accelerating rate. The lack of sleep gradually creeps up on me; I can be extremely grouchy one minute and laughing non-stop at the very next second. It's no wonder my collegues find me cranky. Anyway, so here are my "mi jue" to what keeps me going after all the long hours:-

What keeps me going in the morning..

(In case you dont know who they are, they are the most hilarious DJs on perfect 10 - Muttons in the Morning!)

What keeps me going till the wee hours of the night..
Been working extremely hard (or at least I think so) for the past few weeks. The pressure is on since I'll be reporting directly to my senior manager. Kind of stressed as this is the first time I'm working so closely with her. But I'm glad I was given the chance to do so because I

learnt a great deal of stuff from her. And I'm blessed to have darling's wonderous understanding and support. *grinz*

Wanted to blog about so mnay things, but I guess my long absence from bloggin has silently and subtly stolen much of my blogging skills. Yes, yes I know that blogging does not require much skills. Whatever it is, the current state of my mind is analogous to a blank piece of white sheet. Will slowly pick up my skills when I have more free time on my hands ya.. till then.. night!

Oh, one of my seniors asked me this question the other day i was sitting next to him. And I dont think I will ever forget this question as long as I continue working in the same firm as him:

Him: Sinyee ah.. pardon me asking you this question.. U r quite pretty.. then has anyone ever labelled you as a bimbo?

Me: ....... (I did my best to impersonate the mannerism of a typical bimbo - smile sweetly and bat my eyeleases at 1,000 times per second at him.. and of course, I giggled!)

2007-01-19T19:42:00.000-08:00

phew.. for a moment i thought that I lost my password to blog. That indicates how long I have not been blogging man.

Peak's here. Going home at 1+ in the morning is now the norm, if not later. With each working day, I seem to be breaking my previous record of working late. Initially, it was 11pm, then 1130pm, then 12am and i left at 1am yesterday. Thanks to my teammates and wenhua, working late is never lonely, or sad. However, I think I would have to work alone later in the night now that I've been tasked with a heavy responsibilty. Reporting straight to my manager is indeed stressful. But, it motivates me to give my best shot. Hopefully, I'll be able to perform and get a better appraisal. :)

Enough of blogging now. Need to get back to work!!

The meaning of friendship

2006-12-29T09:44:00.000-08:00

What exactly makes a friendship ticks wonderfully? It gets desponding when you do not receive what you give. It's terribly ironic to place your complete trust in someone only to have that someone deem you as someone unreliable. It's terribly sad when friends turn to you only in times of difficulty.

Blame it on confirmation bias. Perhaps I'm simply deliberately looking out for such disappointing and subtle acts to confirm my pessismistic thoughts.
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I was having dinner with a friend the other day. She commented that girls who are attached often committed one serious mistake - forsaking their friends for their other half. How true. You dont really need a female friend who's attached to demostrate that fact to you. Just look around and you discovered that females usually shop with their bfs. I'm not bitter about this. I guess this is how our social circle moulded us to be: when you are the only one who's single, you often find yourself home alone because most of your friends who are attached will be spending their time with their bfs. And when you finally get hooked up, it's inevitable that your life revolves around your other half, because your friends who are attached will still be spending time with their bf.

Sometimes I heard anecdotes of how some friend cant be accompanying us because she or her bf is going somewhere (be it army, overseas, blah blah blah) in a few days' time for a pathetic few days and it makes me wonder if their relationship is really that fragile to not be able to withstand a few days of absence. I dont know if I have ever committed these "crimes". But I certainly hope not, because I dont think I ever like to make my friends feel like they are spare tyres. In case you are reading this and thinking that," wah lau eh, this sin yee ah.. say pple she also like that what.." then pardon my kaobei-ing-ness. Yes, yes, double standards.. But these are just my opinions..
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Sis is finally back from Holland. Called her when we reached the airport (we were late!) to check if she has arrived, only to be informed that she has already landed but they cant alight the plane yet as someone had suffered a heart attack on the plane and they are waiting for the paramedics to evacuate the person out of the plane. After some time, she finally appeared. Think she looks prettier now that she's fairer. Oh, the person who suffered the heart attack didnt make it. Pronounced dead on spot by the paramedics I think. Heard from my sis that the old man was on the plump side and he suffered a heart attack 30 minutes before touch down. His poor wife was crying her eyes out. Kind of sad. Made a pact with dear to exercise regularly from now on.. I dont want either of us to be in the wife's position one day. *choy!!* Anyway, she got me a LV card holder.. hehehe.. so happy! The LV bag she bought for my mum was very nice as well.. My mum said I could share with her.. *yeah!* But that's for sure since I was the one who picked out the designs..

Alright.. guess that's for now since the night is getting darker.. Looking forward to the countdown party with the E1 peeps tomorrow.. Happy new year, pull your ears!!

2006-12-23T20:57:00.000-08:00

This is the song that I'm so addicted to currently. Fell in love with it the first time I litened to it on the radio. But it's only recently that I learned the title of the song.. SO, if you guys happened to have the song, please send it to me!!

Lips of an angel

Honey why you callin me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why you cryin
Is everything ok
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud

Well my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice
Sayin my name
It sounds so sweet
Comin from the lips of an angel
Hearin those words
It makes me weak

And I
Never want to say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're callin me tonight
And yes I dreamt of you too
Does he know your talkin' to me?
Will it start a fight?
No, I don't think she has a clue

Well, my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice
Sayin my name
It sounds so sweet
Comin from the lips of an angel
Hearin those words
It makes me weak

And I
Never want to say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice
Sayin my name it sounds so sweet
Comin from the lips of an angel
Hearin those words
It makes me weak

And I
Never want to say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Never want to say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why you callin me so late?
____________________________________________

Will be on leave for the whole of next week.. Date me ya?! Visiting Vivocity (I've not been there yet, despite me being such a shopping queen!! *pouts*), an excursion to the zoo, Mambo night, catching up with Lili are some events in the pipeline for next week. Join me if you guys are interested ya?! Meanwhile,
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
HOHOHO..

2006-12-02T19:31:00.001-08:00

Went shopping yesterday and I'm real happy. Happy not because I bought dozens of dresses/shoes but because I bought a real bargain! I paid $29.90 for a dress at Zara that cost $99 originally! And it's my size!! It's rare to get such a cheap bargain at Zara and somemore it's my size can..! Simply love the dress! Hope someone gets married soon or that I have to attend some important functions, so I can flaunt the dress. *haha*

Alright, this month is filled with events. First up, Treetop walk with my colleagues. Attended the walk despite being sick and decided to get an MC on Monday.. Bet you guys must be thinking," wah.. can go for walk under the hot sun, but cannot go to work is it?" Hehe.. work and play has different priorities for me ma... alright, so here are some pictures of the walk:

Bright and cheery!

Halfway through the walk.. damn far can!

Scared.. we are going to cross the bridge!!

Second up, DND. But i realised I left my thumbdrive in my office.. so I'm not able to upload the beautiful pictures we have taken.. but here's a sneak preview!

Me and Serene

205 unites. Haha.. Look at how tightly Serene is clinging on to Wenhua's arm.. I look like the 3rd party.. :(

Me and Kern Ahn!! A very nice senior of mine..

Me and Eric.. Also one of my citibank team colleagues.. When I first saw him, i was like,"wah.. this guy not bad leh.." And he's nice.. most importantly, he's single! Any interested party? Oh, I let Kailing see this picture and she concurs that Eric is really buah pai.. hahaa

Me and my G1. He's sorta like my "guidance angel". As in, we work together, so if there's anything I'm not sure of, I can go to him for help.. A super duper nice guy.. But.. he's attached already..

My G1, my pretty direct senior ( the one who will be doing my appraisal) and me!

The whole citibank team (xuen is missing as she's in brunei working)!

The whole citibank team.. this time with our manager.. I heart all of them!

2006-12-02T19:31:00.000-08:00

Bright and cheery!

Halfway through the walk.. damn far can!

Scared.. we are going to cross the bridge!!

Second up, DND. But i realised I left my thumbdrive in my office.. so I'm not able to upload the beautiful pictures we have taken.. but here's a sneak preview!

Me and Serene

205 unites. Haha.. Look at how tightly Serene is clinging on to Wenhua's arm.. I look like the 3rd party.. :(

Me and Kern Ahn!! A very nice senior of mine..

Me and my G1. He's sorta like my "guidance angel". As in, we work together, so if there's anything I'm not sure of, I can go to him for help.. A super duper nice guy.. But.. he's attached already..

My G1, my pretty direct senior ( the one who will be doing my appraisal) and me!

The whole citibank team (xuen is missing as she's in brunei working)!

The whole citibank team.. this time with our manager.. I heart all of them!

My Unit Trip

2006-11-04T06:12:00.000-08:00

Get Your Own! | View Slideshow

Welcome Night!

2006-10-29T05:36:00.000-08:00

My colleagues.. I love all of them!
A proper shot of all of us
We love each other so much we have to hug each other even when taking pictures.. See, the guys are hugging each other too! :) (FYI, they are not gays... ) This guy is so drunk he took pictures with all of us using the same pose and expression.. He's only 24 and he's getting married!!
The rose among the thorns..
Me and intern. She only had 2 Tequila shots and she's already a gone-case
All of us just want to take a picture with pretty Cheryl

My colleague from Hong Kong. Another colleague who was looking through the pictures lamented he looks like Tong Leung here.. hahaha.. I think that's true..

The welcome night was rather enjoyable. However, the music kind of sucks. Left with colleagues around 1+ and had prata at a nearby kopitiam. Hmm.. nothing too scandalous happened that night though, except for the "sensual" dance as demostrated by WH. hahaha.. Alright, shall head to bed le.. Ciao~

2006-10-19T22:30:00.000-07:00

Had my first ever chocolate fondue with dearest babe Gel. It was sorta a super belated birthday treat from me to her.. *yummy* Let's meet up soon again k babe? I realised it's only when you see a person would you know how much u miss him/her.. :)
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Going to Zouk tmr! It's my firm's welcome night and I bet there will be tons of gossip following the Monday we report to work.. but damn! I'll be on leave.. hmmm... Hope my antenna is long enough.. hahaha.. It's the juicy scandals that keep u alive at work man... :X

2006-10-12T07:40:00.000-07:00

All it takes is to give people that little benefit of doubt to make your world a more beautiful place. After listening to my continuous rantings yesterday, my senior told me that I'm too harsh on people and that everyone loves to have others give them the benefit of doubt too. She's right. So today, I went to work and decided to look at the person I'm unhappy about in a different light. Maybe she's really very busy, maybe she has alot of things on her hands blah blah blah. The possibilities are endless, but I forced myself to think of that person in a more positive light. And TA-DAH..! Time flew today when it used to crawl. I had fun working today.. :) :)

I think one of my biggest problems is never giving people the benefit of doubt. I'm too critical at times. I think when I ever get promoted to senior, my juniors would have a hard time. :X

Went to Paulaners at Millenium Walk with my colleagues last Friday.. The beer tastes wonderful! Double thumbs-up!! *Sinyee loves beer!* There's a live band too if you guys are keen on chill-out pubs.. Heading to Holland V with my colleagues for dinner and perhaps to chill out as well tomorrow.. Happy! My firm is holding Welcome Night at Zouk next Friday! The theme is Prime TV Shows.. Was discussing with my colleagues about who we should dress up as.. Then we realised there's not much to choose from man.. Clothes wore by cast of Prime TV Shows such as Desperate Housewives, Lost, etc are nothing very special.. Hmm.. Any suggestion people?

2006-10-10T05:53:00.000-07:00

Human's innate state of laziness is the bane of my existence in the audit line.

I really do not wish to complain yet again. BUT I CANT FUCKING HELP IT!! I seriously feel that every accounting firm should have a sound-proof room where auditors can just enter the room and scream our lungs out whenever we are stressed. ARGHHHHH!! This time I'm not complaining because of my client. I can only blame myself for being such a tiny weeny small fry within the firm where I have to do seniors' (definition: people who are at least one grade above me) bidding. Damn those who are simply supremely brainless, weak, lousy, stupid, lazy, inconsiderate and irresponsible! urgh!! :( :( :(

2006-10-09T08:43:00.000-07:00

I feel as though weights are added to my feet with each passing day. Somehow, my feet gets heavier every morning and I have to drag my feet to work. On top of that, I have a feeling that if someone were to tap me on my shoulders from behind, I might just break down and cry. Yes, that's how tightly wind-up I am! I wonder if it's because I have too high expectations of myself, or is it because I'm getting increasingly paranoid. I'm perpetually thinking and believing that people are judging your performance everywhere. It doesnt help that my first client was damn "branded". People just have higher expectations of you for some reason despite the same job nature. :(

Lunchtime is analogous to happy hour. That's the time I get to complain with food in my mouth, and nobody will care because all my colleagues are doing the same thing. Lunchtime has literally become a verbal competition amongst us where we start to compare who has the shittiest day or lousiest clients. This beats retail therapy hands-down. After lunch, you walk back to the client's place with lighter footsteps because your colleagues' narrations of their own experiences made your client appear like an angel.*pui*

I dont feel that my pathetic pay justifies the amount of hours I have to clock, the amount of shit work I have to commit myself to completing, and the mental torture I have to subject myself to so ever reluctantly. I think it's time that I should seek greener pastures. Perhaps I should unleash the entrepreneur spirit in me and start a business on my own. Of course nothing too fanciful.. Maybe then you guys will read about me in newspaper next year having attain the entrepreneur of the year or something like that. Alright, I'm fantasizing again..

lessons learnt from work

2006-10-08T05:22:00.000-07:00

I realised working had moulded me into someone very plastic. No matter how much you wish u could just run a knife down the ugly slut's face or how much you wish you could use the end of your heels and kick the guy in his groin area, you still have to grit it and smile beautifully. Singaporeans often lamented about our poor service, but having been in the service line myself, I discovered that it's the ugly Singaporeans who made good service simply impossible. Here's a real life conversation exchange I had with the client, S, the other day:-

(phone ringing..)

S: Helloooo (warmly)

Me: Hi, is this S?

S: Yes, speaking, who's this? (cheerfully)

Me: This is Sinyee calling from my firm's name

Silence...

Me: Hi?

S: Are you even part of the audit team?! (tone totally changed)

Me: Yes, and I'm wondedring if you are free now because I have a few questions to ask you with regards to MAS compliance.

S: Are u in this building? Your number is not even familiar (damn fucking fierce)

Me: No, I'm in the office actually, that's y my number is different.

S: Ok, WHAT?

Me: I was wodnering if the bank has carried out any advertisement this year?

S: How would I know? This kind of question you should ask the management what!

Me: Ok, may I know who you are referring to? (Come on man, there are so many people involved in management can!?)

S: How could you not know! You should know what! The GM la!! Dont tell me you dont know!

Me: Erm.. ok.. I guess that's about it

Before I could even thank her for her time, she has already slammed down the phone on me! Tell me people. With this kind of vermin on earth, how can customer's service ever be excellent?!

From this incident, and from my earlier working experience, I cant help but notice that:-

1. Ladies who are married and with children are the nicest to work with.

2. Steer clear of spinster's path. They bark and bite worse than dogs. Yes, DOGS!

3. Guys always have a soft spot for ladies no matter how old they are, no matter what their status is. Just smile at them and you have them eating out of your hand. hahaha.. maybe one day one male client could prove me wrong..

4. The nicest people sometimes are not what they appear to be (with the exception of mothers). Face-to-face, they will answer all your queries with patience, smile, etc. BUT, once your back is turned, they will complain to their supervisor and then tt's when you will get it.

5. A little plasiticity goes a long way. *smile*

Getting tired of being an auditor. No doubt it's a profession, but among all the professions like laywers and doctors, auditors are the lowest-paid and treated with the least respect. Sometimes in the midst of my work, I questioned myself what the heck I'm doing this pile of shit for or y I can subject myself to be treated like dirt by clients who are not even as qualified or educated as me. When I first join the firm, I dont foresee myself leaving. But now I cant wait to just strike the S$10MM TOTO next year and throw the documents at the nasty client's face. Perhaps my first client had pampered me too much that I cant take any hardship.. Guess I'll just have to bear and grit it for another week before I can go back to my first client! Cant wait for this week to pass soon... oh no! I'm complaining again!!

2006-09-19T07:51:00.000-07:00

Call me Dolly!! Dolly is the English name that my colleagues have come up for me. Dolly because they said I love to dress up, and that they could spot me afar from my unconventional office wear. The seniors, on the other hand, called me Sinner. Sinner because they think I'm so flithy-minded. Hahaha.. Whatever it is, I'm just extremely greatful and glad that I could get along well with my colleagues. In my line, it's the people you work with that matters. Somehow, no matter how shitty your job is, you can take comfort in the fact that you are never alone and that's important in terms of morale and motivation.

After a few months into my work, I must say I kind of love my work. Perhaps I just beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm working hard. I want to work hard. Today, one of my seniors was just telling me she has faith in me. I hope I'll attain what I set out to achieve too. I dont want to think of failing because I'm positive I wont fail if I dont allow myself to!

Current Desktop Wallpaper

2006-09-10T01:31:00.000-07:00

This is my current desktop wallpaper in my notebook. Pictures were taken when we went to Kailing's place to try to get ourselves high on the alcohol provided to us FOC. hehe.. Headed to MOS after the drinking session. I must say I'm rather disappointed with MOS. It's not fun; music sucks, people there suck. The RnB room is filled with kids. *yawn* The Retro room on the other hand, is filled with ang mohs. Totally different from Singaporeans. My toe got stepped on by this short bitch who was wearing heels, and dancing damn ugily. Trying to hard to impress to ang mohs. *yucks* In short, MOS left me with an extremely bitter taste in my mouth. Will never go back there again. To think I thought I can finally let down my hair after 2 months of hard work. *angry*

sighz. This past week is a week filled with series of unfortuntate events. Left me heavy-hearted. Maybe I was too complacent. *tsk tsk* Need to go bai bai le...

2006-09-02T10:45:00.000-07:00

I so wanna scream!! I so wanna voice out all the injustice that I've suffered!! *AHHHHHHH*

2006-09-01T18:19:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I realised that my life has become increasingly dull as I grow older. As I browsed through different people's friendster photos, I feel that my life is just so plain! What's happening?! I've always thought that once I start work, life would become more colourful since we have the money to spend. -SIGHZ- My life is just so routine now - work, sleep, the occasional shopping- Where the heck are the extra cirriculum activities! Date me people! Let's go club man!

2006-08-27T08:08:00.000-07:00

I'm falling deeper in love with my colleagues every time I see them. I've been labelled the Queen of Lameness cum Crappiness by them! Worked late the other day and it turned out to be DJ Night in making. Think we could have clubbed in the office. It's only when people are overworked that their innate craziness start to surface bit by bit.. hahaha..

Working in such a fast-paced industry has got me thinking.. Time to make some serious planning. It's only when you know exactly what you want then will you have the drive to achieve your goal. I'm glad I have cousins who work in and understand the financial sector. At least I have them to turn to in times of complex decision-making. Whatever it is, like what Tim in Project Runway always says, "Make it work." Alright then, make it work!

2006-08-20T05:22:00.000-07:00

Went shopping again!! This time, I shopped at neighbourhood malls and bought a new pair of working shoes and a skirt from Ness.. I'm a happy girl! I want to buy more shoes and bags!! Shopping makes Sinyee an euphoric girl..

Weekends fly! Tomorrow is the start of a brand new week already.. yawn...

2006-08-18T18:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Community Day for my firm. Accompanied the people from homes to the Zoo. The experience was wonderful and great because you know that your efforts have made someone's day! Will upload the pictures when i received them!

Realised the true power of retail therapy yesterday. i bought 4 tops from Zara and Southaven!! One of my betest buys! Thanks Serene babe for the discount at Southaven! The buys feel amazing since I'm using my own money to pay for my purchasese!! No more restraint, or even feelings of guilt anymore!

2006-08-12T21:37:00.000-07:00

I so wanna, wanna go Bangkok!! Applied for leave this December. Hope I'll get it though I'm not pinning too much hope on it since pple have come up to me to tell me their leave have been cancelled!! *BOO!*

Played MJ with KK, Jan and Jeremy yesterday. 3 of us left Jeremy totally broke. Hahaha.. Had second round with Kailing, Alvin and dearie. Hehe.. I'm such a sucker for MJ! But it's good in the sense that I dont have to go out shopping and waste my hard-earned monies!! I want to save, save, save! At least when I'm sad, i can go have a look at my "fat" bank account and cheer up almost instanteneously!!

Anyway, I want announce here how much I love my dear!! I had a craving for prata yesterday after MJ. As it was already 12+, there was no more buses. So.. dear brought me down to the prata shop at Bukit Timah and paid for the cab fare, the food and the cab fare back!! Now I know what my friends have been trying to tell me when they said my BF is very good to me!! *tear* I love you darling!!

2006-08-07T08:09:00.000-07:00

My lunch khakis for today! My face is damn round can! And I've just started work for like 1 month!?! WTH is happening?! Dear's parents told me the same thing too!! ARGHHHH!! Time to put on those jogging shoes!! Anyway, the reason why I put up this picture is because I realised that my looks have matured considerably unknowingly. Prettier I would say.. hahahahaha.. Dont puke guys.. On the other hand, I DONT WANT TO GROW OLD!! Time to invest in facial products!!

2006-08-04T19:26:00.000-07:00

I know this post came abit late. Nonetheless, I want to thank the following sweet and nice people (not in any order ok?!) who definitely made my birthday more memorable this year -

(1) Darling!!
(2) 205 groupies : Serene, Yanjun, Wenhua
(3) My citibank's team!
(4) Xinyu (Thanks for the amazing and beautiful lamp!)
(5) Lili and Jaslyn (Thanks for the presents! I love them!! You guys are really lovely!)
(6) Man and Zan (Thanks for the Jack's Place treat! I had my fill! *muachz*)

My birthday wishes for you guys is to stay healthy and happy all year round!
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Bought 4 dresses last week alone! I love dresses!!

2006-07-27T08:47:00.000-07:00

First step to celebrating your birthday: Look happy and smile as you posed for the camera. Maintain your smile as your friends start to sing you a birthday song.
Step 2: Under the cajole of your friends to make a wish, close your eyes and make a wish silently. Warning: dont ever make a wish aloud or even share it with anybody, else your wish wont come true and thus, you would have wasted one wish. Of course, continue smiling prettily like I did in the pictures.. :)
Step 3: Take a deep breath and blow the candles with all your might!
Step 4: Cut the cake and serve it to your friends who have been waiting for this moment. Singing you a birthday song and cajoling you to make a wish are just some things they do to make you give them the cake faster.

Step 5: Finally, pose with your dearest and most wonderful friends who bother to take time out to celebrate this day with you.

*Thanks Serene for planning this surprise! I think it's very sweet of you to plan this surprise to make me happier!! So guys, what the hell are you waiting for? Grab this girl before she's taken up man!! So here's a big kiss to Serene.. *MUACHZ*

2006-07-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

Convocation! Let my pics do the talking! A collage of pictures taken with some friends.. It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience.. Kind of spur me on to take a PhD. But then again.. I have no use for it.. haha.. Shall use this collage as my laptop's wallpaper so I get to see my friends everyday.. hahah..

Today is my birthday! Above are my colleagues.. i love them all! A great bunch of people to work with.. Fun and ever helpful! Girls, if you find any of the guys particularly pleasant-looking to you, let me know. For your information, all the guys are SINGLE and AVAILABLE! Was very touched when they brought the cake in. I was on the phone with a client one moment and the next moment they brought in the yummy cake and sang me a birthday song!! Feel like tearing can! MY god.. Think I'm getting very emotional nowadays.. Must be that time of the month now.. hahhaa..

Oh Wenhua, here's a crash introduction to your soon-to-be colleagues!

2006-07-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

This post is specially dedicated to Serene, YanJun and Wenhua!! (happy le mahz?)

Thanks for celebrating my birthday in advance and honestly speaking, I'm superbly touched by the surprise! I could feel tears welling in my eyes but meinu mahz.. have to compose myself abit.. hahaha.. You guys should be happy I post this entry in the midst of my busy schedule.. haha.. Treat you guys drinks after I get my pay k??

Anyway, will post my convocation pictures once I'm free.. gtg back to work..

2006-07-19T07:43:00.000-07:00

Today is officially my second day on job. The first day was unbearable and I wanted to just throw in the towel and quit. However, as the hours tick, as I'm beginning to get the hang of it, I think everything is OK (at least that's what I hope). The bank training yesterday made things even better. Now I know what the different acronyms mean, what are the different kinds of financial institutions and stuff. I have to read alot of MAS Notices on my job so far, and fortunately, I find them interesting enough to make me at least finish what I'm supposed to read and understand to complete my work. My team is great too. A great mix of foreigners and people of diverse backgrounds. Working is never lonely with them. As one of my colleagues aptly put it, my firm has the nicest people. Does that imply I'm a nice person as well since I'm an employee of this firm? *grinz*

3 weeks into work. So far so good. :) Weekends are now usually spent playing mahjong with dear, margaret and kailing. I'm starting to feel happy, because I made alot of new friends from different units during my trainings. I do feel like I belong here. :)

Oh well, this is just a random post to prevent my blog from turning rusty. If I'm not making any sense, just bear with it man.. haha..

2006-07-07T19:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my first day on job. When i knew I was one of the 3 newcomers to go on job, I was quite worried because I have no experience! Moreover, the company was rather big.. Anyway, I decided to go with an open-mind since I knew the other 2 peeps. Initially, I was rather sianz by the fact that I'll be working with this girl whom I exchanged 2 sentences with so far. She looks serious and stressed at the thought of going on job that I think she totally panicked. Coincidentally, we lived in the same area and she, being a foreigner, decided to follow me home since she doesnt know Singapore well. Along the way home, we chatted and amazingly, we chatted all the way home, without any single second of silence.

From this, I discovered the importance of giving someone that chance to interact with you before you crystalise your initial impression of a person. Many a time, we often "discriminate" certain people based on our first impression. While we may be right or wrong based on our superficial judgement, I think we ought to give that person a chance.

Oh, back to the job. I stayed till 9+ (and it's only my first job). However, I dont feel any pressure while working because the people in the team are damn nice! You will never feel lonely while working since there will be people in the team to chat with you, laugh with you and go through thick and thin with you. Fortunately or unfortunately, I'm starting to like what I do and be proud of our culture. I hope this sentiment will last. Afterall, I'm new, fresh and energetic and prepared to go. Haha..

Another thing I learned during work was that sometimes you feel the heat to perform. However, what you do not know is that your seniors have been silently patting you on your back for your hard work. Hence, it is crucial to lower that very high expectations of yours and learn to take it easy. What matters most is you know you have give it your all. :)
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I'm one hell of a lucky woman. After a tiring day at work yesterday, I was feeling kind of grouchy and tend to snap rather easily. I feel blissful to have dear's understanding. In fact, he's buying breakfast for me now.. *I love you dear! Thanks for everything!*

2006-07-04T04:56:00.000-07:00

Pictures are taken with my HP once again, so bear with the blurness of the pictures people!We had amazing race yesterday as a bonding session. Here are me, serene and another group member Pei Wei at the memorial near City Hall. Had great fun despite the running here and there. The fun could just be attributed to the fun-loving nature in us! Donned on us are KPMG jerseys!
Trainings are held at Fort Canning. Interesting place ah? Haha. Amazing lunch these few days. Had 5-course chinese cuisine yesterday while we have fine dining today! Splendid!! And it's all for free!! This appetitzer is actually chicken breast with sweet fruits.
The main course is snapper fillet with mashed potato and vegetables. The mashed potatoe tastes yummy. Abit creamy and stuff. However, the dish of the day is... *drumroll*
Chocolate cake with Vanilla cream!! Extremely yummylicious! In fact, it's one of the bestest chocolate cakes I have ever eaten, besides my birthday cake of course. *hehe* Wonder what's for lunch tomorrow.. Japanese cuisine?
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Guys, let me let you clueless guys in what girls want after a hard day's work. What we want is just a listening ear. A listening ear means purely listening and simply nodding your head at all our whines and complaints. Additionally, you got to give us those "oh, you-so-poor-thing" look. It doesnt include giving us your non-value-added comments and trying to put your points accross to us. So, next time a girl complains to you, clam your mouth, and listen hard. hahaha...

Hell has no fury like a woman scorned. Trust me. I'm a woman and a 101% woman at that. *evil laughter*

2006-07-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

Tiring first day. It was kind of satisfying though, knowing new faces and starting to know the firm's culture. However, even though it is only first day today, we realised that underneath the smiles of some people lurk despicable minds. Oh god, it's only the first day. Spare me the mind games for now..

*yawn* Time for bed. Heard there would be training for the next 2 weeks or so. Happy because I can knock off on time!!

2006-07-01T07:53:00.000-07:00

Humans are a scary lot, especially humans who are highly educated. Though I have no desire to generalise, it's true that most of us do things for a motive - be it harmful or harmless. I learned about the painful truth about this JC friend. I learned about how selfish, realistic and irritating this person really is. Although he may not have approached me to conduct his so-called business, I still feel damn pissed at him for bullying one of my bestest friends. *crack knuckles*

It made me wonder if our friendship was a mere facade. Perhaps, we are just tools for him to earn more money. He often emphasizes the imperative of networking. However, what he does not know is that all the people in his network hate him. I can never understand why people would want to achieve success at the expense of friendship. At least, I know this is something that I would never, ever do.

This incident is sort of an enlightenment to me - the reason to why I'm perpetually thinking the worst of people. It's not because I'm cynical. i realised I'm not. But because humans cannot be trusted, particularly people who come from a certain background. Before you guys labelled me as stereotyping, at least take my 22 years of experience of interacting with people as a collateral.
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There is only a thin line dividing behaviour that comes across as slutty or friendly. However, in my very own eyes, I'd like to think of you as just being pathetic and desperate. The connotation of that sits better with me.

2006-06-30T19:22:00.000-07:00

Received the pictures from Serene and here are some of the pictures that we took the other day! Simply adore this picture of me and serene. Maybe it's the red chair? I dont know.. But we sure do look lovely in this picture!
Alright, saw the picture of me kissing Orlando Bloom? Wenhua is worse, carrassing Keira without her permission. Hehe.. Whatever it is, we had tons of fun posing for pictures and making a fool out of ourselves.. Thanks leader for forgoing world cup just to enjoy the company of 2 drop-dead beautiful girls.. hahaha
Went out with Lili yesterday and the shopping addict in me was out in full force. Bought tons of tops. Felt abit guilty coz the tops are more for casual wear instead of working wear when I should be investing in my office wear! Oh, Lili brought me to This Fashion to shop. This is the last place on Earth that I would ever shop for clothes man. However, this trip proved to be an eye-opening experience because I realised that the clothes there are nice and cheap! Me and Lili ended up buying the same sexy halter top at only $17 each. As seen from the collage, you can tell we did have alot of fun shopping ya? We are going to save to shop in Bangkok towards the end of this year! I'm sure we will have loads of fun and the good thing about shopping with each other is we can tell each other our honest opinion. On top of that, we have the smae taste too!

Anyway, the picture of the day taken with Lili is this piece. I really love this picture! I think I look serene in the picture. Mature and kind of elegant too.. maybe it's my conservative top? Hehe..
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Finally bought leggings! Wore it to club a few days back, paired with an off-shoulder top and heels. *yummy*

2006-06-28T23:24:00.000-07:00

Announcement

I hereby declare that I'm going to quit the clubbing scene. I am getting damn fucking old!

Anyway, finally met up with Kailing last night. Her boyfriend definitely brings us some car thrill on the way to Double O. Though Kailing claimed she has put on weight, I think she's in fact thinner now. Supper was at this prata shop near Zouk. The curry is spicy! One of my loves! When I get my licence, I'm going to drive dear there for supper. *yummy*

Work is going to start in 3 days' time. Sianz!!

2006-06-26T22:08:00.000-07:00

OMG. Switzerland lost. I got a premonition that dear is gonna kill me for what I've said in a fit of anger yesterday. I'm sorry dear... :~~(

2006-06-26T19:35:00.000-07:00

Indeed, what's passed is past. It's time I stopped putting in effort in a friendship that I know will never be revived and reciprocated. Not only is it tiring, I feel like the biggest, damnest fool for even trying in the first place. If I'm wrong, I dont think I will even know what I dont wish to know or hear what I rather not hear.
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Finally going to Bugis to shop! This time I'm gonna get my leggings by hook or by crook! *evil laughter* I already know which designs I want!! Shall take pictures of it and let you guys have a look at this must-have fashion piece!

Caught the Omen yesterday. The show kind of sucks.. Catch it only if you guys have absolutely nothing to do..

2006-06-25T20:17:00.000-07:00

I realised that striving for perfection is not necessarily a posititve thing. It's just like how I went to straighten my hair even though my hair was already quite straight to begin with. Unhappy with my imperfect straight hair, I decided to make my hair perfectly straight by buying some hair cream at the pharmacy store. Along the process of straightening my hair, my siblings stayed away from me because the smell of amonia is simply too overwhelming. Anyway, even though I achieved perfectly straight hair thereafter, I discovered my hair is damaged and I had to go for hair treatment. In the same vein, what I'm trying to put across is merely that perhaps when one strived for too much perfection in his/her life, it brings with it repercussions that are totally unexpected, despite achieving one's goal/objective. It's time we try to let go of certain things and live with the imperfections in life. That will make us happy humans I believe..

2006-06-22T22:41:00.000-07:00

Alrighty, so here's an update of the chalet that I attended on Sunday. Pictures are not clear since I forgot to bring along my camera and have to rely on my lousy handphone to capture these shots.. Below is a collage of all my extremely adorable cousins and nieces. The ones in red dress and blue dresses are sisters while the one in yellow and the baby are sisters. CUTE CUTE CUTE! Anyway, my aunt prepared this fish which is filled of sweets and goodies for the kids. When you hit the fish on its belly hard enough, it will spew out chocolates, sweets and whistles for the children to pick up..
See.. the kids are damn excited to pick up the goodies the fish spewed out. They screamed, pushed one another just to get to the goodies!
So here is a picture of my sister using all her might to hit the fish.. she's like the santa claus of the day because she can hit the fish real hard and her hits did bring tons of sweets for the children..
After all the excitement, the battered fish can fianlly take a break.. x_x
After that, we are off to the beach! The guy in gray is my cousin and he used to take good care of me when I was just a screaming toddler. The one in pink is his wife and they are holding their wedding dinner this coming November.. so excited! It's been a long long time since I've been to a wedding dinner.. I love wedding dinners! Free food and you get to dress beautifully!
Here we are, racking our brains on how to build lovely sandcastles..
Anyway, paiseh no more pictures after that because I was too busy playing mahjong with my aunts le.. hehe..
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Went out with wenhua and serene yesterday. Pictures would be uploaded once I received the pictures from serene.. (serene, if u r reading this, quickly send them to us!) Had steamboat and caught scary movie 4 too. Super dumb show. The jokes were mere repetitives of scary movie 1, 2 and 3. Nonetheless, i had alot of fun just talking, laughing and taking pictures with them. Love them!
Work is going to start in around one week's time. Bad news is, I know what kind of jobs I'll be doing le and all I've heard about my jobs are rather negative stuff. Good news is I know wenhua has some of the same jobs as me. Qin duo duo zi jiao hor wenhua..!

2006-06-21T21:41:00.000-07:00

Boo! Played 3-legged Mahjong with Lili and dear yesterday. Kind of impossible to find a fourth player since friends are either attending some orientation camp, working or overseas. Hence, to kill our time, we had to make do with 3-legged MAhjong as suggested by Lili. Anyway, it was a bad experience. Lost till I have to lose my underwear to Lili. I guess it must be karma for me, since I "killed" KK and Jan as well as Winston the last few times we play Mahjong. What goes around comes around. Boohoo~

At least I have something to look forward to later. Steamboat with 205 peeps!
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Sometimes trivial issues left unresolved have the propensity to snowball into something major. I dont know if I'm thinking too much again. Is it me again?

2006-06-19T23:05:00.000-07:00

Surfing Friendster is definitely one of my must-do activities when I'm bored. The other day, as usual, I log on to my Friendster account and noticed that one of my primary school friends had uploaded new photos to her account. So there I was, kpoing, clicked on her photos and gasp! I realised she has just gotten married. Mind you, she's the same age as me and she's one pretty babe. Before I've yet to overcome my shock, I went to the bus stop and saw one guy who was also in the primary school as me. He's holding the hands of his heavily pregnant wife.

It made me think hard then. Perhaps marrying young is not a bad thing afterall. Perhaps marriage could just be a simple and sweet event just between the couple. sighz. How sweet.

2006-06-17T10:41:00.000-07:00

Today's Mahjong session with Janice, KK and Winston was rather fun. Laughing sessions with Jan today brought me back to our JC days and I thought to myself how great it would be if our friendship would always remain just the way it is - perpetual laughter and fun. My friend told me once that the people whom you considered good friends changes with time. I remained skeptical when she made that comment. However, I'm starting to believe increasingly that this statement does hold some element of truth in it.
At times, when I have too much spare time, I'll start to think about certain issues, in particular relationships. And I do not mean just boy-girl relationships, but friendship and kinship as well. Of all relationships, I think friendship is the hardest relationships that I have to deal with. Perhaps my expectations are just too high. Perhaps friendships drift apart with time and environment changes. Or perhaps, I've become more cynical and pessimistic with time. Sometimes I think about my good friends and I ask myself exactly how much I understand them. At times, I feel I do not understand them very much. At times, I could feel like we are the bestest of friends and nothing could ever split us up. It was at these moments of self-reflection that I realised that there have been only 3 friends who have stood by me during my darkest moments and led me back to the path of light. Regretfully, only 2 remained. Of course, it would definitely be wonderful if I could have the 3rd friend back again. And it is these 3 friends who have constantly made me feel like I've been a good friend to them as well. I know it because they always made me feel like I've never been forgotten. I know it because I know I can always rely on them to make me smile and feel better again. I know it because they always take time out of their busy schedule just to hear me complain and whine about the sillliest thing. And I know it because I know I will climb the highest mountains for them to sustain our relationships.
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To the third good friend: I've been wanting to contact you but I guess the long period of not contacting you have made it awkward for me to do so. That's why I cherish the time I chat with you on MSN these past 2 weeks or so, despite it being just general chat. Though we have not talked for quite some time, you are always on my mind. I hope you are doing well now. I know you are starting work this coming monday, 19th June and I pray that everything goes smoothly and wonderful for you. Stay the way you are because that's what made you extremely endearing as a friend. Your place in my heart would never be replaced. Hopefully, someday, we will be where we once were. Cheers.

2006-06-16T20:36:00.000-07:00

Dad and the temple's committee up on stage toasting the guests.. The temple is along Teck Whye Road..

Dad and Mum at dad's temple dinner function last weekend. This is the first time I see my dad dressed so smartly.
Mum, me and my little sister. Alot of people commented I resemble my mum greatly.
Me and my little sister.. We dont look alike at all. I think she will be prettier than me when she grows older. I'll make her doll up. :)

Oh my god~! I realised my tiggery does bite! That just so damn cute!
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Busy schedule this weekend. Heading to Jan's place to play Mahjong later and attending my aunt's chalet tomorrow! It suddenly dawned on me that I'm not exactly rotting at home these past few days as I thought I was or told my friends. I've been wanting to tutor my little sister with her homework, yet I've not been at home to teach her any single thing with the exception of how she should do her comprehension. These days, the comprehensions are a far cry from our primary school days. The questions demand more thinking and primary school kids can no longer give their answers by merely copying the passage. Today's education system is really kind of stressful for them.. Anyway gtg now. Maid just fried chicken wings.. got to snatch some while stocks last.. lol..

2006-06-16T10:30:00.000-07:00

My outfit for the day! Think it's damn taiwanese style. Must be the influence from watching the lady first regularly. Whatever it is, dear said it's nice! Saw my cousin and she gave the same comments! Caught X-men 3 today (free because my cousin helped me get the tickets) and we got the best seats though the the seats were selling fast! Felt damn good to have a cousin working there. hehe. Anyway, the movie was rather nice I feel. Kind of unexpected.
Headed to Bugis to pray and I decided to qiu qian. Kena conned by an ah peh the moment I agreed to let him help me interpret my qian. I agreed coz he told me it cost only 50 cents. That's a damn cheating marketing gimmick I tell ya. Dont ever allow these cheater ah pehs to read your qian! What they tell you is no different from the english interpretation on the qian!! Initially, he simply told me what was on the qian then he continued and said that rats will face worse luck in the latter half of the year and told me to write my name on this piece of paper with my address on it. I was quite skeptical about it but I thought if he didnt throw away the paper I'll demand he returns it to me. He then led me to this small altar beside the temple and started "chanting" my name and address and what I was praying for in a weird accent. He thought that just because he was speaking weirdly i wouldnt know what the heck he's "chanting" about. At the end of the "chanting", he took out a piece of rough paper and told me that the piece of paper that I wrote my name on cost $12 and his "chanting" ritual cost $4 while his "assistance" in helping me interpret the qian cost $2. So in total, the service charge amounted to $18. WTF! All these charges without my fucking knowledge! I learned my lessons and I will never, ever fucking let these fucking cheaters earned any single cent from me again! I think these cheating ah-pehs are damn wicked, cheating money under the name of god. I dont think they will ever reincarnate man! Because of the $18 I gave him reluctantly, I decided not to buy my leggings anymore.. Heartache!
Headed home after that and mum asked me to pack up my room. So here's a collage of my "neater" cupboard. Notice the background picture? It was a paper bag from carrier. It was to be at Wisma, just opposite McDonalds. However I think they have since closed down eons ago. It's quite amazing I kept it till now.. haha.. Notice my nail polish too? This are just the remainings after I threw out some. They are mostly from Missha (my fav make up brand at the moment) and the face shop (cheap and the quality is not bad).
And finally, this is the saviour of my room. Air fresher! It's damn good and it smells damn nice.. Yummy~ Alrighty, gtg turn in for the night now! Ciao~

2006-06-15T00:36:00.000-07:00

Downloaded some picture software and randomly pick a picture to play around with. Basic fixes but they left me feeling impressed and amazed. Haha. Good. Now I have a new toy to play with to while some of my time away.
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Went Zouk last night. This morning I woke up and decide that it's about time I stop clubbing. Dont get me wrong. It was fun last night. It's just that I'm getting old.

2006-06-13T18:55:00.000-07:00

I think it's basic courtesy when someone asks you a question and you give a prompt reply. In the same vein, when someone sms-es you, you should also give a reply as early as you could, unless the sms does not warrent a reply. However, if you could only reply at a much later time, I think you should offer an apology and if possible, give a reason to why you could reply only now. No doubt sms-es is an informal channel of communication, but I think basic courtesy should not disappear just because of that. I am often left very frustrated and extremely irritated waiting for someone's answer or reply. At times, I would try to send a second sms to the same person asking the same question, thinking that perhaps the receipent failed to receive my sms. When the person still fails to reply, I get pissed. This is only particularly so when I know the person is awake and I know that there is no reason that he/she would miss my sms-es and calls. To me, I think the person is simply being rude and unkind. Though I may give the benefit of doubt to many of my friends, there is still a limit to how long I can wait.
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Going to catch a movie and probably going to club as well. Yipee~!

2006-06-11T22:07:00.000-07:00

I want leggings!! I saw nu ren wo jui da the other day and the way they wear it is just so nice!! I want buy!! Shall wait till I go Bugis later this week.

2006-06-07T08:55:00.000-07:00

Met up with 205 groupies today! The first thing leader said when he saw me was, "sinyee, ni bian bi jiao mei le." As i walked closer towards him, he said, "oh.. because u applied makeup." I went from happy to sad.. :( I'm sure if leader sees this via msn, he would send me the slap face emoticon. LOL..

Went for driving today and it was hmm.. I shall say a whole new experience.. I never know I actually like driving so much.. and the damnest thing was I realised I could have booked my test date a long time ago if not for some misunderstanding.. sianz.. So my instructor directed me to book my test date and yupz, I gonna go for my test real soon!! Serene told me not to inform anyone of my test dat, else I'll be damn suay. However, I'm confident I'll be able to pass on ermhem.. the FIRST attempt!! Instructors always complimented me that I can drive well.. HAHAHAHA.. here's me being bhb.. I need to pass this first attempt because my advanced theory thingy is expiring real soon!! Need to pray to driving god le.. Maybe I should print a damn large poster of Jay Chou in Initial D and stick it in my room and pray to him piously.

While I was on the bus to BBDC, i started coughing uncontrollably.. It was damn paiseh coz it was damn loud and it just wouldnt stop! The person sitting opposite me stared at me like I have some kind of terminal illness. I hate coughing as it just comes and goes as it like. I hate it when it just wouldnt stop. I thought I was going to cough out my lungs then. I was coughing so hard that there were tears in my eyes.. :~~~

Had crabs for dinner today! I love dear's mum.. She dotes on me too much.. I tied up my hair today and she complimented that I look pretty! In fact she and dear's dad are always telling me I look prettier than some of the TV stars.. hehehe.. I feel like I was on cloud 9 even though I know they are just being nice.. (yes.. bhb me again.. but so what.. as long as I'm happy!). Think I'm getting thinner. Jeans are getting loose.. :(
I dont mind getting skinnier, but that's provided in front do not get flattened along the process.. :(

2006-06-06T19:25:00.000-07:00

Been back to see the doctor yesterday for my very bad cough and not so serious flu, twice within a month. Therefore, I think I am the doctor's best patient. Dear was so sweet to feed me medicine when I was watching TV. He even forbidded me to drink much water after taking the disgusting cough syrup. *pui*

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Played MJ with KK and Janice the other day. They left feeling broke. Well, it's not that I ddint give chance as my friend Winston exclaimed. But it was because Jan said she and KK (both of them are working already) are feeling so rich that they do not know where to throw their money. Fine, since they said so. Anyway, I also forgoed winning even though their threw my winning tiles a few times. I think sometimes it really depends on who you play with. Being friends, i do not see the need to strap their out of their cash.

Also played MJ with zan and man. Play small small. It was quite fun and zan's brother is superbly cute! I think he will be a real man when he grows up. He saw a trail of ants crawling about along the bookshelf and without any hesitation, he took some tissues to clean up the place. To satisfy himself that he did a thorough job, he began to flip through books page by page that were manifested with ants to ensure that all the ants were killed. He even began to use a screwdriver to dig up the dead ants from the shelf's gap. Now, that's what i call a MAN! He was also rather funny. As we were playing MJ when the results were out, we decided to check our results in zan's place. Being the weird dear, he wanted to cover the screen and scroll down one by one to check what his results were. While he was covering, zan's brother who was standing beside dear from some distance away began reciting his grades. Dear was momentarily sianz dao. But when he realised his fantastic results, he went wild. lol.. Afterwards, we were trying to calculate dear's GPA score and zan's brother immediately announced it for us. We were like huh? because he does not even know what is GPA score. He then told us," oh.. just now when you all were looking at the results, I already tally for him what.. the scores were at the bottom mahz.." SO CUTE LAR.. hahaha..

Have driving lessons later. Dread going to BBDC for some reason.. That's the main reason why I have yet to get my licence! Hope to obtain my licence real soon and take dear and friends for a spin..

2006-06-06T08:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah! I can finally say I'll be graduating!! Kailing called me all the way from Europe yesterday and we are both elated that we will be graduating with honours! Come to think of it, I feel a bit silly for crying my heart out the other time.. But hey, it's crucial k?! No one wants to stay back in school for one semester when most of your peeps are out there working already.. Meeting up with my 205 groupies tomorrow.. Yea yeah~

Alrighty, got to go catch some beauty sleep now or else I wont be able to recover from my cough and flu..

2006-06-04T21:38:00.000-07:00

I'm down with disgusting flu! Miust be Xinyu who passed the contagious bug to me via the phone line when I was talking to the sick her the other day! Hmpf!!

2006-06-02T20:09:00.000-07:00

Changes mandate stepping out of one's comfort zone. After reading the book, "Rules of Life" by Richard Templar yesterday, I realised that I have unknowingly violated some of life's very golden rules. As such, stepping out of my comfort zone shall be my aspiration from today onwards. It's motivating and comforting to know that this is, afterall, to improve the quality of my life. So, here I shall share with you, some of the rules of life extracted from the book, that in my opinion are very important:

Rules for you
1. Accept yourself
2. Aim to be the very best at everything you do - not second best (me: I love this rule)
3. I wish I'd done that - and I will (me: Stop procrasinating!)
4. Know when to let go - when to walk away
5. It's ok to worry, or know how not to

Partnership Rules
1. Accept the differences, embrace what you have in common
2. Be the first to say sorry
3. Keep talking
4. Respect privacy

Family and Friends Rules
1. If you are going to be a friend, be a good friend
2. Never be too busy for loved ones
3. Never lend money unless you are prepared to write it off

Social Rules
1. It doesnt hurt to forgive (me: Forgiving does not imply that you are wrong. It does not mean that you accepted or agreed with what the other party had done or said. Instead, it simply means coming to terms with what had happened)
2. Hang out with positive people (me: I'm glad most of my dearest friends are positive.. I could never bear to stop hanging out with them :))
3. Be generous with your time and information

If you are keen to learn moreabout the rules of life, you can borrow the book from me ya? I'm more or less done with reading it..

2006-06-01T07:54:00.000-07:00

I've been toying with the idea of getting a tattoo since upper secondary school days. However, I know the nature of my prospective job doesnt tolerate any kind of "mispresentation" as manifested in the ethic code of an accountant (or was it SSA?). But whatever it is, I made up my mind to get one after a few months into the job, that is if I do have the time and energy. It would be done nicely in a rather inconspicuous body area. This has been in my head for too long so might as well heck it and go for it, although my mum's image of someone with a tattoo is a baddie. *boo* Maybe it's still too soon to make such a resolution though.. I could change my mind after some time.. Who knows?

2006-05-30T08:32:00.001-07:00

Went shopping with Zan today at Bugis and bought quite a few stuff despite shopping with Xinyu in Bugis too just a few days back. Among my spree were belt, shorts, bag and a top.

Worklife is looming round the corner with each ticking second. Getting increasingly stressed and frightened at the prospect of the late nights, the lack of social life, the pimples outbreak with the amount of stress I have to deal with. I'm seriously contemplating to change to another job, where I know I'll be happier. Honestly speaking, I dont think I'm suitable for an auditing job. I'm too fun-loving I think. I was thinking of what other options I have and I made up my mind to at least go try be an air stewardess. It'e been my dream to be one since secondary school days. If I dont get in, then I'll have to resign to my fate. If I'm really that lucky to get selected, I think there are still other factors that have to be weighed, such as the job prospect and life after flying. Ecen so, I still have to cross my parents' hurdle since I think they would disagree. They have always thought that flying is a dangerous job. On top of this, they invested money in me to get a degree and instead of utilising the degree, I choose to throw their hard-earned money away. Whatever it is, I'm going to try, in the name of experience.

Anyway. I adore gray! It's such a gorgeous colour. *love*

2006-05-30T08:32:00.000-07:00

Went shopping with Zan today at Bugis and bought quite a few stuff despite shopping with Xinyu in Bugis too just a few days back. Among my spree were belt, shorts, bag and a top.

Anyway. I adore gray! It's such a gorgeous colour. *love*

2006-05-29T22:51:00.000-07:00

In times of an essential verbal vomit, I realise I miss ANG KAILING alot alot!! Guess I have to wait for another 4 more weeks before she would be back.

Thinking of buying a damn large photoframe so that I would be able to put in pictures of all my dearest treasures - family, dear and friends!

I wanted to blog a very long entry to while my time away, but I realise that I do not have much to blog about.. *yawn*

2006-05-27T23:33:00.000-07:00

There's this adage "People changes with time", or perhaps they do not.

I was chatting with this friend of mine yesterday. I thought he had grown more mature and realistic with time. Apparently he has not.

I remembered when I was in my first year in Uni, he scorned at my lousy results. He said he would definitely do better than me and get into the dean's list. I rolled my eyes. I know it was another mindless boosting. I can recall the times in JC when most of my classmates felt damn pissed over his numerous "substantial" boostings.

So, I saw him online yesterday and we were just chatting about our lifes in general. Nonetheless, I decided to let him have a taste of his own medicine and asked him about his results even though I know how "well" he did. The following is a dialogue of our msn chat.

me: so u r gg to specialise in bnf?
him: ya.. but dunno results can ma
me: I heard from my friends that the papers were ok lehz
him: ya la.. that's y all the more worried ma.. means more people would be able to do well
me: I thought u said u r aiming for first class honours?
him: aiyah.. results does not mean anything what.. ask yourself honestly lar
me: Hmm.. For acc maybe not coz most of us would be entering the big 4 ma.. for BnF i'm not so sure..
him: u gg kp right?
me: ya..
him: no offence la.. but go big 4 also no point.. max give u 3.5k only (and some other similar remarks I cant remember)
me: not exactly la..
him: lesser right?

At this point of time, I was kinda fuming already.. I mean who does he think he really is when he has lousy results and no job security and here he is kb-ing to me about my pathetic profession and pay. To top it off, I dont think he comes across as intelligent. His only intelligence to me is being extremely insensitive and someone who purely cant wait to suck ur money dry when gambling with you.

me: I know u n XX have the same thinking..
him: rite
me: no offence either, but sometimes I think u shud consider your own capabilities first before aiming for the stars.

At this point of time, as if on cue, my connection was cut off.

Reflecting on what I've said, I dont regret it and I mean every bit of it. Everybody dreams of making it big one day. However, what is the point of aiming for the stars when you lack the ability to reach for them? It's good to have goals, but I believe goals should be realistic and practical. Considering that fact that he has yet to graduate and secure a job, I feel insulted to be looked down by him, who is a mere nobody. In life, there is no shortcut to making in big. It takes a hell of hard work and attempts, as well as some IQ and EQ. I'm not being mean here, but I think he lacks the proper aptitide and attitude to bring him to within reach of the stars.

2006-05-25T19:34:00.000-07:00

Humans are contradicting creatures. When we feel bored, we yearn for companionship. Yet, too much time spent with the same person leads to conflicts. Both my sister and Xinyu attested to the previous statement wholeheartedly.
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I remembered a friend once told me something about competition. Whether he applied to his life I do not know. He said, "With competition, there would be improvement." I cant agree more. I do not see anything wrong with being competitive as long as you know the reasons to what you are competing against for. Whoever dares to judge are people who fear you will succeed, who feared they theirselves would be left behind in the rat-race. The word competitive has a stigma associated with it. However, I'm beginning to see the word in a new, positive light.

2006-05-24T07:56:00.000-07:00

Back from HK for about a week already, yet my voicebox is still on its way to a slow recovery! HK indeed lives up to her label as a shopping paradise, but I'm not so sure about her being a food paradise though. I still think Singapore's dim sum is much much better, in terms of quality and services.

Watched The Da Vinci Code today. Sadly, I think the book is definitely much more interesting. But this should be nothing surprising I guess.. Harry Potter movie failed to bring out the excitement that goes on in the book as well. Headed to the library to want to find out more about it and dear said I was overly obsessed. I now see Leonardo Da Vinci in a new light. In the past, I thought he was simply a mere artist who got famous. Anyway, for people who are utterly bored this holidays, give the book a good read. You will regret it if u missed it!!

Kailing is off to Europe for 5 weeks! It's been only 4 days and I miss her like crazy! I think she was so sweet to sms me to take care before she left.. I MISS YOU BABE!! Cant wait for you to come back and update me with your happening 5 weeks. Hope you find one hell of a gorgeous ang moh there.. lol..

One more month and I have to say goodbye to my freedom soon.. Meanwhile, I'm looking for a part-time job to earn some cash and of course to earn some experience that I know I will never gain as an auditor.. Hmm..

2006-05-10T05:20:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day of school, "officially". That's provided if I dont dapao my 306. As my exam script was collected today, a wave of realisation hit me. I realised that this will be my last time in this examination hall. I could feel some tears stuck in my throat. I felt foolish, but that's me for you.. I'm just such a sentimental babe.. *sob*

Yesterday for the very first time throughout my NTU life, I cried the whole of the morning over an exam. I feel like the hard work wasnt worth it. I think i seriously lacked exams luck. Looking back on the 3 years in NTU, I realised that I was my happiest in Year 1. Though my results sucked, I was happy. Progressively, though my results improved by leaps and bounds, I became increasingly unhappy. I dont know why. Needless to say, this semester is the worst semester of my life, for very obvious reasons. Friendships broke up, hidden conflicts started to surface, tons of misunderstanding that wasnt really clarified and a warrented apology that never came my way. Despite the hard work thrown into doing FYP, the grade that I wanted so badly failed to present itself. And of course finally, the exams on Monday. This semester was a semester full of nightmares too. Just the other night, I dreamt that a family of 5 jumped to death right before my very eyes. Kailing told me I should go pray. I told her that there would be a furtile effort because my paresnt have placed an amulet at the head of my bed since a long time ago when I have nightmares as well, but the nightmares never go away. I always dream of people dying either of terminal illness or jumping to their deaths right before me (and it wasnt that one time).

Nonetheless, this semester wasnt without any goodness in it. I made more friends, I made some really good friends who were there for me, who consoled me when I was down and was just there to hear me bitch about life.

As my life in NTU comes to a close, I know I have definitely made some nice friends. You know who you are. Keep in touch people. And of course for some, see you when work starts. *wink*